Age

The “gift” of a time and times way past
Hopefully I will be the person I always wanted to be.
I don’t mean have the body I always wanted to have for that didn’t last
The wrinkles in my face and the dark under my eyes everyone can see
The not so easy to disguise once firm butt
The rounded waistline that they call my gut

The “gift” of a time and times past
“Who is that person looking at me!” I screamed
When I looked in my mirror this morning I saw her fast
“Who is that person looking back at me?” I beamed
Who is that who looks like my mother and granny
When did I grow so careful, watchful and canny.

I might want to trade a few friends and parts of this amazing life
I might think about cashing in my some of my loving family
I could get rid of a few gray hairs and a bit of the strife
I wish I could still strut more irresistible and fancily
Phew, this is a gift? I guess it is if I look at it right
If am less cynical and more kind to myself I might see a different light

I've become my own friend as I enjoy this gift
I chide my self less for the extra pounds and stuff
I don’t feel guilty for not making the bed if you get my drift
I even treat the kids as if I was less tough
I now have no guilt for spending an extra dollar or two
Don’t care much either about the couple of hundred I blew

Too many good friends and family have left this earth too soon
Some got a chance to enjoy the freedom that comes with age
Some didn’t even get a chance to enjoy their grandchildren bloom
Others couldn’t image the ease that comes with this stage
I am glad I got a chance to feel this feeling
I would jump for joy but I have difficulty even kneeling

It is nobody’s business that I watch TV till the dawn of day
Who cares what they say when I choose to sit for hours
I finally don’t give a poot what any one has to say
Just because I am older doesn’t mean I have to start planting flowers
I might choose to sleep with books, paper, and pen in my bed all night again
And wait for the funds my son and daughter told me they’d send

I still like to dance to movin tunes of a classic R & B jam song
One might even make me weep over a love forever lost back flash
Sometimes I forget what I said in just a moment too long
I can hardly walk some mornings less known run too fast
I am not ashamed to sit on the lake in a swimsuit and shawl
It may be stretched over my bulging flesh and all

I don’t care anymore if others pity me
Surly over the years my heart has been broken.
A heart not broken can’t experience the joy of being set free
My tongue can hold the things that don’t have to be spoken
I hope I have strength, courage, understanding, and compassion
And too, to my loved ones, my love I don’t have to ration

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray
I am so blessed to find it easier to be the positive one
I am so blessed to have earned the right to choose to go or stay
I don’t question myself anymore and I feel good about who I have become
I am still here living and paying no mind to what could have been
I don’t worry about what will be except of course the evil and angry men

The “gift” of a time and times way past is large
I think I am the person I always wanted to be.
Nurtured and nurturing as I was given charge
Giving and grateful and forgiving with a heart strong as a tree
Favored and blessed and creating and comforted and Him I obey
Faithful and dignified and honorable and loved and skilled at keeping sin at bay
 
Reprinted from:  She Speaks Psalms ISBN 1-60813-056-8; Though She Speaks Psalms incorporates affirmations of God and spirituality, the work is more social and political than it is religious in its portrayal of life and its difficulties.

Failure to Launch: Motivating the Unmotivated Young Adult/Child

We have a group of unmotivated young people in America who are between the ages of 18 - 25 and are victims of academic sinkholes & drop out factories.  They have failed to launch into adulthood successfully.  The schools their parents entrusted to educate them have literally taken from them all encouragement and motivation.  These young people go from job to job, have no desire to go to school, or enroll in unrelated classes they don't have the skill to complete. They have little to no experience in success.  These young people don't know what success feels like and are stuck in a rut with few opportunities available to them.   Parents don't understand what happened, why this young adult can't succeed, and these parents are not sure what to do.  Our children need prayer.

            In the past, we pushed our children out of the house as soon as they graduated high school or turned 18.  This is a grave mistake and it needs to stop.  We have created a group of young adults who suffer the "failure to launch" syndrome.  Another problem is that they didn’t have a clearly defined plan for next steps after graduation. Before they walked across that stage the school counselor should have made sure they set 5 and 10-year goals.  Someone should have made sure they gradated with a complete resume that had been proofread by a parent or counselor.  High school graduates who intend on going to college should graduate with not only 10 college applications completed but acceptance letters from at least 5 plus a completed financial application. The child who experienced successes before 18, left high school encouraged, and is helped with the process of next steps in life will be the one least likely to become a life long unmotivated adult.  Yes, he or she may have difficult times and challenges, but will be highly likely to pick him or herself back up when they fall.   So, how does a parent build self-esteem in an adult-child?  How does a parent assist an adult-child with developing a clear plan for their future?  I am a parent of 3 young adults.  In addition to constant prayer, these are 3 steps that I find really helps to motivate our unmotivated young adults whom we love.    

            1    Don’t brow beat him or her.  Reevaluate the message that you gave them as they were growing into adults.  Really think about the message you gave them and how you contributed to this their present state of dysfunction.   Take a long, hard, and honest look at your part in this big mess.  How can you redirect past or current messages?  As difficult as it may be, the one thing they don’t need is someone constantly telling them how useless you think they are.  They don’t need to be harassed, they need gentle but firm coaxing.  They need the courage to set themselves up in situations where they can experience small successes.  The real fact it they have not been successful in the past and don’t believe they can be in the future.  Find reasons to complement them on their potential.  And for those times where you just couldn’t help but tell them how disappointing they are, you owe them 3 complements.  Note that if you reprimand and complement in the same sentence or same conversation, that complement doesn’t count.  It is just extra.  They need someone to believe in them so they can learn to believe in themselves.   They need encouragement, complements, and kind words more than they need you to give them anything else including money.  Money cannot buy motivation.  Above all, even if they no longer live under your roof, don’t give up on your adult-child. 


            2     Listen and listen emphatically.   They don’t need you to talk at them nor give them directives, unless asked.    They need you to listen.  We direct the unmotivated young adult more by asking pertinent questions than giving directives.  These questions should be generated from our listening.  Listening to the unmotivated young adult who you raised is the most important thing you can do.  Most of these young adults have something in their hearts that needs healing.  They need to learn to let go.  Most of them also have something important to say and they need to be heard.  Listening attentively is difficult, though this is may be difficult for you, it is what your unmotivated adult needs. 

Successful listening in this this way means not interrupting, keeping eye contact, nodding frequently, refraining from any comments, and keeping the body language neutral at worst and emphatic at best.  Being emphatic is different from being sympathetic.  Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone and may being supportive of his or her experiences.  However empathy means to not feel sorry for them but to really understand what they have experienced and to see their view as well as understand their hurt but not necessarily feel sorry for them.  When you listen emphatically you validate their feelings without enforcing it as an excuse for doing nothing and being non productive.  When you are emphatic you are sensitive to their feelings and understanding without enforcing excuses for their behavior.  You are being compassionate and understanding but not enabling. 

Also, when he or she is talking it is not your opportunity to correct them or even give suggestions.   At the same time we don’t want encourage whining.  Right now this exercise is about listening.  We’ll talk about what to do after the listening in another blog.  When he or she is talking it is not an opportunity to be corrected, or even get suggestions, YET.  If he or she asks for suggestions at this time, that is a different matter.  If in doubt keep all remarks to the unmotivated young adult from your own experience.  For example, “When something like that happened to me I…. “ or “This is what happened when I went through that same thing…..”  If you did not have a similar experience then it’s probably best to say nothing and just listen.  There is learning is quiet as the unmotivated young person reflects upon his or her own words and thoughts.  As a rule of thumb, if you are  unable to positively identify his or her story or you are not sure what to say, remember, say nothing at all. 

Nothing carries less risk of causing more damage and thickening the walls between the two of you than a hurried remark made to fill an awkward silence.  Don’t be afraid of the silence.  Use the moment of silence to send up a quick prayer.   Often out of the silence comes an “ah ha” moment for the both of you.  You want to be mindful of body language as well.  Watch your paraverbals including your tone, volume, and cadence.  It is important to remain calm, especially if you are challenged with something he wants to get off his chest.  You will want to remain calm so the wall between the two of you will dissipate if she asks difficult questions.  Your body language should be encouraging and not make your young adult shut down once you’ve gotten them talking and sharing.  This is your child, and you are not excusing their behavior, but you are providing them with a platform to get it out, get it behind them, get over it, and let it go.  Whatever the underlining trouble the intent is to help them let it go.  Remember that as you listen.  If you have to speak, put her statements in your own words instead of asking her a question out of sync with the problem.  The idea again is to get them to open up so they can begin to let go of the bad stuff and that they feel have occurred and move on, even if you feel their feelings are not validated.  Remember that silence on your part allows him to clarify his thoughts and reflect upon the message to himself.  Your goal is not to teach at this point, but rather, to listen in order for this unmotivated young adult can learn to drink from the cup of healing and be more productive. 

3   At this point, you’ll have to bond with your adult-child by involving yourself in things that will help him or her.  Enroll in a yoga class together.    According to Yale University, yoga helps to put more gas into the brain.  Yoga helps to develop and increase a person's intellectual capacity and sharpen memory and concentration. The exercise, according to preliminary studies, has helped improve concentration.  There are specific types of yoga that focus on redirecting the brain.  Certain yoga techniques are designed to change alters the way path brain waves.  As memory moves into consciousness, it becomes malleable, which means it can be changed.  Thoughts provide the fuel for this change.  Investigate EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).  This is a wonderful technique for removing the negative emotions that limit our success. Using this technique, you and your young adult can gain the emotional freedom to truly pursue.   To learn more about brain management and EFT, contact Dr. Sunni at nulifesunni@yahoo.com.  Above all, if you really believe in prayer put your adult child on the alter, as faith without works is dead. 

In conclusion, the bottom line is that the system has failed them and parents were too busy to notice or too self engrossed to give it time.  At this point in their lives, parents need to encourage these young people to do it themselves.  There are no more free programs for them anymore.  No one cares if they really succeed or not.  The social system is not designed to encourage them.  Instead the welfare system and social programs discourage them.  I realize parents want to wash their hands of these young adults because after all, they are grown.  And yes we don’t want to set them up to forever rely on us, but there is something parents can do now that they did not do before.  That one thing is to encourage them and to help them build their self -esteem.  Add this to your daily prayer and watch how they are transformed. 

Self - esteem and feelings of hopelessness is the problem for their failure to launch into adulthood successfully.  They lack self-motivation and self-discipline.  They don’t really know they can be successful.   The bad habits in which they are stuck have existed for some time and gone unnoticed or unaddressed for whatever reason.  This is one of the most important times in development in the life of a young person. If we, as parents, don't pay attention to making this a successful time for our unmotivated young adults then not only do we pay for it in the future but society pays as well.  We need to stop releasing ill prepared young adults into the world.  This wreaks havoc on taxpayers.  They lack hope.  Though they are no long children.  They are still humans and as fellow human beings it is our responsibility to do what we can to motivate them not matter their ages.  Remember to pray.

There’s a Sister in the White House!

There’s a sister in the White House!
braiding her daughters hair sitting on the kitchen floor betwixt her long brown legs
cooking chicken flipped and turned in a bowl of white flour
frying hot water cornbread with water from the White House kitchen tap
that satisfying scent she got from her black mamma in the hood
and smellin’ the White House up with sweet potatoes, peach cobbler, black eyed peas, and collard greens on the stove
insisting her children make up their own beds
Whose youth are hopeful and now don’t have so much to loathe
Who is sure to teach her daughters how to pray
And the Lord is still coming soon someday.

We have a Black First Lady y’all
inspiring our daughters to love their blackness
It might not be so hard for the children of the folks who enslaved us to accept the African American president born to a Kenyan daddy
but the First Lady spot was always beheld as this nation’s symbol of a lady
a sentimental mother THEIR beloved housewife with the occupation
held high, esteemed good quality, distinguished, and refined
Look at that sister sitting on THE pedestal
How will they accept their newly darkened white house redesigned?
The same color as the one coming soon
when the sun will be darkened and we will see blood instead of the moon.

Are they ready to look at this very BLACK woman in THE house?
With her degrees and her austerity and her intellect
Are they really ready to see her as the epitome of the American wife, mother, and first lady
On their White House carpet now walks wide feet like copper with traces of wooly got to be permed  hair
Their White House mirrors see her wide nose and thick lips
This confident revolution reared from a black mother and father’s assurance is televised
The legacy of enslaved chocolate dark slave girls calling the Lord’s name
Not even second class, whipped, chained, beaten, and raped in clandestine suites
who does not have to sneak into the white house through the back door to join the President of The United States of America under his sheets
You go my sistah with your beautiful black self.
Their White House has been painted Black.
An occasion for our young daughters to increase their self wealth
An occasion to get our noble, regal, royal, stately, distinguished, dignified, fine back


 
She Speaks Psalms ISBN 1-60813-056-8 Inspiration, enlightenment, and empowerment for daily living. The author determinedly provides information that is bound to steer her readers to the only source for inner empowerment, The True and Living God. Motivation to live life to its fullest.

Save Me the Trouble; Remove Yourself

It was ten years ago that I laid on my couch waiting for the breath of life to leave me. Silly me, I was not ready to stand before the Lord and justify my actions. It was the pains of living that tried to convince me I couldn't do this living thing anymore.  But, The Most High sent my friend and sister April Weaver-Ford to pray for me.   After she fearfully drove on the expressway by herself for the first time from the city to the south suburbs, she stretched herself across my body and prayed in my ear. Something I'd obviously forgot to do. Upon hearing the name of Jesus in my ear and hearing her pray and recite scriptures to me, I was able to get up from that couch, accept the Most High as my husband, and LIVE.   I'd forgotten just how good God is, how dare I!   I beg his forgiveness for allowing bitterness to seep into my heart for a time.  It is Jesus who allows my friend Vicqui Clark, all the way in South Carolina,  to call or chat with me online each and every time I need encouraging lately.  I never hear from her until I am feeling melancholy and subdued and need to be encouraged.  She feels it from my posts.   He gives her the scriptures to remind me to read.  He puts his  words in her mouth and she puts it in my ears.  I only hope I can be an encouragement for someone in this way.   Thank you Lord for giving me another day to get it together and thank you for using my friends. "A friend is like a brother", or sister in this case. 

When I walked the streets of Harvey looking for  food to feed my children from the food pantries in the area  it was Jesus who helped me to find them  and carry the food  home more than 15 blocks away in some cases.  It was Jesus who helped me keep two children in college while  trying to feed 3 others alone.  When I was struggling to care for my father on his death bed while returning to college to improve the quality of our lives, it was my sister, Lisa Meaders and her husband Minister Darren C. Meaders who took over  the care of my sick father and picked up my children after school, feed them, helped them with homework, and cared for them while I worked and went to school.   I thank Jesus for putting it in there hearts to help.

When I was faced with the challenge of unemployment for 2 years and came home in the dead of winter to no heat, no lights, no phone, and no water -on occasion all at the same time - it was Jesus who got us out of those jams.  When the sunk pump in the basement was completely out of whack and we had water up to our hips and waste backing up through every hole in the house where water should be, it was Jesus who sent a plumber, whom I did not know, to fix the problem at NO charge.  I'm saying he was an angel but  I'd never seen him before he popped up at my door.  I haven't seen him since that day.  I don't know who sent him.  Many have entertained angels unaware that they were angels.  When the hot water heater or boiler went out again, always in the winter, it was Jesus who helped us out of those jams too. 

When my car broke down and I couldn’t afford to have it fixed causing me to have no way to get my children to and from school, it was Jesus who put it my sisters, Linda Goodwin’s heart to pay for it and fill up the tank.  It was him who put it into her heart to  help provide a roof over our heads.  It was HIM who provided an income for us,  getting us on our feet.  It was HIM who healed me when we thought I was on my deathbed, for real this time.  It was so serious and inflammation was spreading through me so quickly that my daughter came home from California to begin to make plans to take care of the little ones after I was gone.  It was HIM who took away the pain and moved my limbs and let me breathe with ease.  

It was Jesus who healed my heart when it was senselessly broken over and over again.  It was him who kept me sane and put this smile on my face.  It was Jesus who allowed me to overcome the loss of my precious and magnificent mother. It was Jesus who allowed my children to grow up, be educated, compassionate, productive, and unharmed as he taught them to serve him while they figured out how to live.

So, don’t  rant  and rave about who God is and what I should call him in my ears.  I don’t care what YOU call him,  I  will call him Jesus for as long as there is breath in my lungs because it was Jesus who helped me when I called his name each and every time I needed help.  There were no brothers around who claim they love me.  There were no sisters around who claim they admire me and are my friend.  As a matter of fact, many of these brothers and sisters sat in judgement instead of reaching out their hands to make sure.  I hadn't given up on the God we say we serve.  Many judged me harshly without all the information, false information, and even downright lies.    


Every time I needed help, Jesus was there and  I love calling his name! I adore him and he has my devotion.   I am so very grateful to Jesus and I thank him for being their when no one else was and for sending the things and people I needed.  I behoove you to  leave me alone if you don't have anything good to add to my life.  I would appreciate it if you would save me the trouble and simply remove yourself.

Shirley Ceasar - Jesus, I Love Calling Your Name

Def Jam Poetry - Kim Fields "How Come"

"Woman To Woman" Thea Monyee ( Def Poetry)

Abuse vs Divorce

This is one controversy in Israel.  Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts.  You ever lived with a hard hearted man, I am here to tell you that it "t'an't nothin" nice.  "In the beginning it wasn't so", but neither was polygamy, meat eating and a whole lot of other things.  The Lord said he hated divorce, as a matter of fact most of us do too, but he didn't say it didn't need to happen nor did he say it won’t going to happen.  Well guess what?   "Shit happens!", It's just life.  Sometimes bad things, things that are taboo, unspeakable things, they do happen and very often we become better when it happens.  Yes, if each of us performed our duties in the manner in which the scripture dictates there would be no need for living with the pain of abuse nor would there be a need for divorce. 

Mind you, I am no advocate for divorce,  It is not supposed to be and I do see why.  But, again, ask the wife and children of a man who does not have a heart of flesh what they think about divorce.  Ask them why they are in the midst of one of his blow up or beat downs.  I guarantee you that you will get their most honest answer and their most sincere plea for compassion. But again, I am no advocate for divorce because Jesus said it was not supposed to be so, and he said "what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder".  I am not trying to give anybody a bible lesson so please look those scriptures up or ask somebody.

By the way, asunder means to pull apart, in case you didn't know.  You see I have pulled part every scripture that mentions or even hints to man, his, wife, and their relationship, and the power that comes from doing it right. I still want that!   However, I think the Lord  meant that nothing was supposed to come between a man and his wife, nothing, not even his lack of kindness, or his abuse, or his neglect, nor her folly either for that matter.  I think he meant that neither he nor she was to bring anything in the relationship that would pull that powerful bond apart.  Am I wrong? Did I mis-read that?  Let me tell you this.  Women don't usually leave good men thought men have been know to leave good women.  But, there are exceptions to every rule.    I would like to raise a few questions though.  Feel free leave your responses.

• What happens to boys who live in an abusive household?  What happens to their friendships?  How will they choose a mate?  What kind of mate will they choose?  How will they allow their mate to treat them?  How will they treat their mate?

• What happens to girls who live in an abusive household?  What happens to their friendships?  How will they choose a mate?  What kind of mate will they choose?  How will they allow their mate to treat them?  How will they treat their mate?

·        What happens when women neglect their children because they are focused on getting through the day because of emotional or physical abuse?

·        What happens to women who live with emotionally abusive men?  What are the long term effects?

·        What happens to men who live with a woman who never has anything nice to say and offers no help?  What happens to men who continue to abuse their spouses?  What are the physiological, emotional, and mental affects?   What about salvation?  Will their salvation be affected?

Now, I am ranting, this blog is NOT about promoting divorce.  I don't advocate it.  The focus will be empowerment, encouragement, and motivation.   Just as divorce affects everyone, so does abuse.  Neither is nothing nice. 

Crock Pot Recipe - Black Eyed Peas Cajun Style

Nutritional value: Black eyed peas are an excellent source of calcium, folate, and vitamin A.This dish is great served over a bed of brown rice or next to a slice of cornbread.
Served with rice or cornbread, and a tossed salad, this dish makes a complete and nurtritional meal. It will satisfy the taste buds of your entire family

Before serving, put a bit in a small bowl with a tight lid.
Refrigerate and take to lunch the next day, since you have to eat good homecooked food in order lose and maintain your loss.

1 lb of uncooked black eyed peas
tomato paste
Stewed and chopped tomatoes
2 TBSP Chicken or Vegetable soup base
3-4 TBBP Cajun Seasoning (dependent upon how hot you like cajun spiced dishes)
1/2 green pepper
1/2 red pepper
1/2 yellow pepper
1 medium onion
3 cloves of garlic

1. Chop all vegetables
2. Put all ingredients in the crock pot
3. Cover with water
4. Turn the crock pot on low
5. Go about your day, this fabulous pot of savory sensation will be ready to
tickle your taste buds by the time you are home from work. (approx 8-9 hours)

One of my neighbors, around the corner, is an elderly gentleman from the south. He and his grandsons go to the farm all summer and pick vegetables. They set him up in front of his house to sell his vegetables. He has a cute little vegetable stand. I love to support his efforts. This summer I bought red-eyed peas that had to be picked from the shell. That was no fun! However, they taste great in this recipe.

This Poem is for Grown Folks Only: Waiting in Haste

wrapped in firm soothing strong benevolent arms

yearning for the glide and the cruise

eases painful agony of alone

ride me gentle ride me smooth

esteeming the head and the delicate caress

taking my turn to ride this skilled Ethiopian-ish mare

gently rocking yet oh how steady

carefully fingering his wooly lamb-like hair

gliding dashing rides the mare across the desert sand

stroking the hardness of his gallant rod

touching the suave masculinity I dreamt

of my man whom God made from the murky sod

his goal is supposed to please God then me

I will be given to him by the one who created us

to be cherished, adored, and succulent a job I did not give

his task is to create the aura needed to love and trust

mounting the bitter sweet firm as not to spill his seed

follow him as he leads he will know me I will know him

this ecstatic uncertainty won’t be relinquished

because of hardness of heart a new reality doesn’t seem dim

refuse to loan my virtue out as I wait

can’t allow another to nip this luscious tangy taste before time

waiting in the existence of lonely

the hardness of heart will be replaced so I wait in haste

spasms of strong desires deep yearning

appear only in the deep of the night

when all else is still but my heart

off and on I wake waiting to bite

I want to be beautiful

I want to be beautiful

as beautiful as the children in the park I see play

as beautiful as the sun beaming across the sky each day

I want to be beautiful

as beautiful as the field of purple lilacs blowing in the wind

as beautiful as the rainbow after a storm’s end

I want to be beautiful

as I gird my loins with strength and lay my hands to the spindle

as I am like the merchant ships that bring my food from afar

I want to be beautiful

as I stretch out my hands to the poor and reach forth my hands to the needy

as I make myself coverings of tapestry and my candle goeth not out by night

I want to be beautiful

as I look well to the ways of my household and eat not the bread of idleness

as I open my mouth with wisdom and my tongue is the law of kindness

I want to be beautiful

as my children arise up and call me blessed, and my husband also praiseth me

as beautiful as the back of Jesus as he goeth forth to the final battle

I want to be beautiful

as beautiful as the saints clothed in vestures of white marching into Zion

as beautiful as his clear unpolluted streets paved in gold

I want to be beautiful

I want my beauty to come from within and shine without like the

glimmer of a blazing star on a warm summer night.

I want my beauty to be favorable in the eyes of The Most High

I want my beauty to be a gift from God because he looked down on

me and said, Well done my daughter, now I know you will serve me”

I want to be beautiful

Men and Real Men

Men love their wives
Real men also cherish them.

Men ask for a righteous woman
Real men can actually deal with her.

Men prefer women with no children, therefore, no added responsibilities
Real men are apt to bless a woman and her children with his joy and his goodness.

Men often deter his woman’s success
Real men cheer her on and mean it.

Men discuss their godliness
Real men exhibit fruits that bear it.

Men want desperately to be the heads of their households
Real men also create the atmosphere that permits it.

Men know a good woman when he sees her
Real men are also wise enough to pursue her devotion.

Men are obligated to correct his woman
Real men correct with love, gentleness and kindness.

Men provide for his children, especially when they live in the house with him
Real men also provide for their every need even when they don’t.

Men need to have sex with his wife
Real men also need to comfort and reassure her.

Men want reverence and obeisance from his family
Real men are also worthy of it.

Men hope to raise children who are intelligent and well behaved
Real men also do what is necessary to make them that way.

Men become zealous, stern, and immovable about serving The Most High God, when he finds Him
Real men find Him and are firm and immovable in serving Him, yet are patient and long-suffering with his  wife who doesn’t know Him yet.

Men go home to his wife and children every night
Real men also talk to them, inspire them, and direct them.


Men laugh and cry
Real men laugh and cry with his family

Men show love and concern for his children when he is still with their mother
Real men also show love and concern, even when he is not.

Men provide and protect
Real men provide and protect with love, joy, and temperance.

Men give because he is supposed to
Real men also give because he loves to.

Men think about his faults and his failures
Real men actually adjust his behavior and strive to improve it.

Men admire a woman’s convictions
Real men don’t demand that she alter them.

Men make many promises and intend to keep them
Real men also make promises he intends to keep, but he actually keeps them.

Men give her funds to take care of her “other” children from time to time
Real men also provide for them and treat them as though they were discharged from his loins.

Men expect sex as appreciation for his help or his companionship
Real men help because he wants to, and reject sex as a substitute for being her friend.

Men wait for his woman to fix his plate
Real men cook, at least sometimes.

Men act apologetic after “a beat down” or “a beat up”
Real men also verbalize his apology and change.

Men understands his woman desires his heart, his trust, and his love
Real men are also wise enough to allow her the privilege to earn it.


http://y.ahoo.it/3TlvJ2

The Purple Rose ISBN 1-60474-262-3 The Purple Rose is a book of poetry which can be used as daily inspiriationals and a bible companion, written as tools for healing, inspiration, and encouragement. The author wants women to understand clearly that there is hope in God, and that they have within them the power needed to change those circumstances in their lives which they feel powerless to change.

Women and Real Women

Women feed their children daily
Real women also provide nourishment needed to sustain health.

Women teach their children good manners
Real women also teach them the commandments of God.

Women provide an atmosphere that helps her children through each stage of development
Real women also nurture them, guide them, and direct them.

Women correct their children when they’re wrong
Real women also teach them to correct themselves.

Women help their husbands with his other children
Real women also nurture them like her womb was their refuge and her breast their sustenance.

Women investigate that which interests her man
Real women also treasure what he loves.

Women ask his opinion
Real women also value it.

Women fall in love
Real women also exemplify it.

Women substitute sex for love
Real women give no free samples until he commits to the whole package.

Women can stand being corrected
Real women also expect it.

Women only want to know the truth
Real women can also deal with it.

Women have a special place to honor and respect her mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, other relatives, or friends
Real women know that place is not in the middle of her and her man.

Women learn to compromise
Real women also learn to obey.

Women love to be romanced by him
Real women also know how to romance him.

Women say they love righteousness
Real women also beam it.

Women want their daughters to be strong
Real women also model that strength.

Women give pleasure and satisfy sexual needs
Real women also comfort, console and cheer him on.

Women respect her man
Real women also honor, reverence, and uplift him.

Women commit to his comfort
Real women also commit to his growth.

Women fight for her man
Real women also fight to support him in all his positive endeavors.

Women work to have something of her own
Real women also work as a helpmate to him.

Women will open her mouth to communicate her needs
Real women also open her mouth with wisdom, understanding, and kindness.

Women will beautify herself and is pleasing to the eye
Real women also beautify, starting from the inside, then out.

Women demand respect
Real women also model it.

Women admit her faults and her failures
Real women also work diligently to improve them.

Women desire his heart, his trust, and his love
Real women also intend to earn it.

Women appear to love themselves
Real women illustrate her love for herself, even when he doesn’t.

Women cry out and complain when he hurts her
Real women know how to cry out and compass him in prayer to God
http://y.ahoo.it/3TlvJ2

The Purple Rose ISBN 1-60474-262-3 The Purple Rose is a book of poetry which can be used as daily inspiriationals and a bible companion, written as tools for healing, inspiration, and encouragement. The author wants women to understand clearly that there is hope in God, and that they have within them the power needed to change those circumstances in their lives which they feel powerless to change.

I'm Feeling Subdued

According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary a person who is subdued is unusually quiet and possibly unhappy.  It means suppressed, conquered, defeated, or overcome.  A subdued person is one who is not irritating anyone around her, one who is not strident or clamorous.  I am feeling subdued today.    I am unusually quiet but not necessarily unhappy. Today I am feeling sort of a left of subdued reflective thing going on.   I am felling like talking softly at a whisper.  I do feel like dancing but I feel like submitting to a slow passionate dance with a man I care about or an energetic dance of praise and worship.  I am a woman feeling submissive and not too loud and who feels like listening to soft and hushed music. 

My conversation is low-keyed today yet I don’t necessarily feel low.  My feelings are suppressed because there is no "he"  nearby, "he" couldn’t have come anyway so what’s the point in crying.   I'm feeling relieved because my last two will be gone in a few months and life will change for me.   I feel conquered a bit somedays, yes, but it’s only for a short time.  I sometimes feel defeated a little, but always temporary.   I am conquering my fears.  I focused on defeating the pain and hurt others have caused me.  I am overcoming fears and pain and have avoided becoming bitter and angry with life because it hasn't gone the way I wanted.   I feel overcome with melancholy yes, but I am not giving in this time.  I could give in and feel depressed instead of reflective but I am not giving up this time.  Today I feel overpowered by the fact that God is all powerful and knows everything about me and everybody else.  He knows the good I have done.  He knows my mistakes and why I made them.  So, yes, I am feeling subdued but not sad, I am focused on making today better than yesterday.  I am focused on making the good I can do outweigh any bad I have done.  I am subdued and focused. 

If I were a light bulb I’d be soft and restrained.  If I were music, I’d be a saxophone play the melodic chords of The Wedding Song by Kenny G.  If I were a love poem, I’d make my reader feel warm and fuzzy.  If I were a rock, I’d be smooth and yellow rock  waiting to be tossed into a purple stream .  If I were the cloud, I wouldn’t be partly sunny day. If I were lost again, I’d simply walk until I found my way. 

 If I were a smile, I’d be a big one.  I’d smile, because my children respect me.  I’d smile because "he" will love me when he shows up and he'll act like it this time.  I’d smile because the sun is shining through my window.  I'd smile because "HE" is present in my life, my thoughts, and my actions. 

If I were who I once were, I'd be strong enough, and confident enough, and trust God enough to  stand up for myself for a change and tell anyone who had a problem with me being me to take me or walk away.  I'd tell him who once tried to make me feel less than a good person that this is the way I look, this is the way I think, and this is the way I feel.  I am who I am, I think the way I think, I do what I do, I love the way I love.  I wouldn't care if I didn't fit into the idea of who I should be in the minds of those who still persecute me.  I'd do what I always did, make changes based on what I read God wants from me and I'd smile because I decide, again, to serve the true and living God for all that he is and all that he wants me to be.  . 

I’d smile because not only do I have food to eat but I can eat whatever I want.  I’d smile because I love shoes and I have plenty of them.  I’d smile because just because I am feeling subdued, it doesn’t mean that I am unhappy or depressed.  I'd smile because there is no one beating me down and making me feel like shit.  I’d smile because in all my life I’ve not been as happy as I am right now.  I was told I sound subdued, and I do.  I am not subdued out of sadness, instead  I basked in the glory of, “there is nothing wrong”.  So I am reflectively subdued because things could definitely be worse and I'm stronger than I used to be. 

Crock Pot Recipe - Spinach & Rice Soup

Spinach is a power food. I love it. I can eat it steamed with butter, sliced onions, and chopped garlic. I love it in tossed salad, stir fried, or in soup. It is packed with valuable nutrients and has a distinct taste. Eaten from a can, the taste of spinach is not always pleasing to the palate. Eating it will help you meet your daily nutritional requirements including calcium, iron, folate, and vitamin A.

My children have no problem eating spinach. If I decide to steam it, I don't cook it until it is slimy. When I put in in soup, like this recipe, I chop it small so it will easily masked as it cooks all day. It's chances of becoming a bit slimy are higher when used in a crockpot recipe. For this recipe I add it unthawed along with the boiled along with the seasoned and unthawed meat already boiled, as soon as I get home. By the time we settle down and and are ready to serve dinner, the steam has cooked the spinach perfectly and heated up the meat.

These are the ingredients you will need for a large crockpot (holds about 8 cups). You will have to experiment with portions if you own a small crockpot.

3 cups water
1 14--ounce can chicken broth or 3 tablespoons of chicken base and 1 1/4 extra cups of water
1 10-3/4-ounce can cream of chicken soup
2/3 cup uncooked wild rice or brown rise, rinsed, and drained
1/2 teaspoon dried crushed thyme
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cups fresh shredded spinach
Optional: 3 cups chopped cooked chicken or turkey (about 1 pound)


Directions

1. Combine all ingredient in your crockpot.
2. Covertightly and cook on low-heat setting for 7 to 8 hours or on high-heat
setting for 3-1/2 to 4 hours.
3. To serve, stir in chicken and spinach. Makes 6 (1-1/2-cup) servings.

It is easily ready to nourish your cells. All you need to do is add a salad or other raw vegetables with dip and a buscuit, dinner roll or other variety of bread.

Vegetable Variation: If you are not using meat, substitute a good vegetable soup base or vegetable broth and cream of mushroom or cream of celery soup.

How about a little lemon juice?

Adding just 1/2 tablespoon of lemon juice to each of your 8 daily cups of water (distilled water is best) provides nearly 20% of the daily value for vitamin C. This major antioxidant not only fights heart disease and boosts immunity but also helps form the collagen we need to heal tendons, ligaments, bones, and blood vessels. An antioxidant help prevent damage to your body cells or repair damage that has been done. Antioxidants may also improve immune function and perhaps lower your risk for infection and cancer.

The antioxidant process can be compared to stopping an apple from browning. Without fail, when you cut an apple, it begins to brown. The vitamin C contained in orange or lemon juice prevents the browing. If you dip it in orange or lemon juice, the apple remains white.

My sister who is a naprapath recommended that I follow this procedure. Squeeze two whole lemons in your tea, seltzer, or other beverages to get your daily vitamin C quota; fresh juice offers almost twice the C of bottled varieties. According to my elderly uncle's doctor, lemon juice is filled with potassium and will nourish the nerve cells. His doctor has him sipping it all day.

The infamous Jethro Kloss author of Back to Eden says, On page 659 of Back to Eden, Mr. Kloss points out that, “The lemon is a wonderful stimulant to the liver and is a dissolvent of uric acid and other poisons, liquefies the bile, and is very good in cases of malaria. Sufferers of chronic rheumatism and gout will benefit by taking lemon juice, also those who have a tendency to bleed, uterine hemorrhages, etc.; rickets and tuberculosis. In pregnancy, it will help to build bone in the child. We find that the lemon contains certain elements which will go to build up a healthy system and keep that system healthy and well. As a food, we find, owing to its potassium content, it will nourish the brain and nerve cells. Its calcium builds up the bony structure and makes healthy teeth. Its magnesium, in conjunction with calcium, has an important part to play in the formation of albumen in the blood. The lemon contains potassium 48.3, calcium 29.9, phosphorus 11.1, magnesium 4.4. Lemons are useful in treating asthma, biliousness, colds, coughs, sore throat, diphtheria, la grippe [flu or influenza], heartburn, liver complaint[s], scurvy, fevers and rheumatism.”

Lemons are very beneficial to overall health and general cleansing, a good for constipation. Simply adding 1/2 to 1 tablespoon of freshly squeezed lemon juice to a glass of water in the morning will help the colon to ease out any waste left over from yesterday. It helps to free the body of impurities. It also helps build the immune system providing the body with almost 1/4 of its daily vitamin C requirements. Lemon juice acts as a powerful antioxidant that also helps fight 'dis-ease' and helps to form necessary collagen needed to heal tendons, ligaments, bones, and blood vessels. Fresh lemon juice is more beneficial than bottled because it is twice as potent. It supports the liver by providing a natural strengthening agent to the liver enzymes causing it to make more enzymes. Lastly, the juice of a lemon supports oxygen and calcium in the liver because it helps to regulate blood.

While They Scream at Each Other

While the brothers scream at teach trying to figure out who gives the best lesson, who knows the most, and who can unlock the deep things, the family has gone to amuck.

While the brothers figure out what to call Him, sisters need to call on The Most High in whatever language we speak. Our babies are in trouble.

That's been the problem; the brothers can't agree on what to call The One Who Created us all. In the meantime, what about the children?

They argue about what day to serve him while our sons kill each other in the streets daily.

They can't figure out what to eat or not, yet our young girls lie with each as men lie with women. Teach your daughters to be women.

The brothers want to convince us that they can more than one of us when they don't even feed and clothe the first set of seed.

They want to talk about whether to read the New or the Old Testament, when from what I read,  real men of God were kind and patient in both.

They want to decide whether to read the Bible or the Qur'an - yet, 1/4th of them don't really live by either one. Listen to the walls talk. Look at the faces of their wives, watch how their children play.

While they are busy screamimg  at each other they are not attentive to their women nor do they direct their children.  The ones closest to them feel badly most of the time. 

They want to spend far too much convincing each other which one is right, yet in 2011, 1/3 of our children can't even read the word.

Good night I have to on the Westside at 7am to serve the youth who didn't find a place to rest tonight because their parents didn't provide it

Correction. I have to serve the ANGRY youth who didn't find a place to rest tonight because their fathers didn't provide it.

The next day I’ll be on the Southside to serve the youth who didn’t eat at all yesterday because their mother was too busy getting in her “me” time.

I need to stop slammin  the brothers, because sisters ain't right either. More and more I never thought I'd see the day when sisters didn’t nurture their offspring.

Yes, the scripture said our young men would be hidden in prison houses but it didn't tell you to push them into those doors with your neglect or your abuse.

Got an idea, every MAN hit the street, grab just ONE boy by the collar mentor him, feed him, smile at him,  and teach him to read that holy book you scream so much about, but be sure to teach them to do as you say not as you do. Problem solved.

It will be time to flee and they won’t know it because they’ll be so busy screaming at each other.  

T’aint Nothing Like a Bowl of Soup in the Winter

Soup is a food that is made by combining ingredients such as meat and vegetables in stock or hot/boiling water, until the flavor is extracted, forming a broth. Traditionally, soups are classified into two broad groups: clear soups and thick soups.

Slow cooking is a great option for cooking soups. Because slow cookers work at low temperatures with lids on, there is hardly any liquid lost during cooking. With most cooking methods, the water in meats and vegetables turns to steam and evaporates. With a slow cooker, there's nowhere for the steam to go. It just collects on the lid and bastes the food.

A bowl of soup and a hefty salad are  really good ways to add more veggies to the diet.  When I eat a good vegetable soup before a meal I am likely to eat far less of the meat and potatoes. The soup helps to curb your appetite and also forces one to eat slowly. The best part is that many soups are low in fat and calories so if you are famished, you can eat a hearty helping without fear of weight gain. Just be careful which soups you choose. Go for soups that are broth based and is loaded with vegetables for added nutrients. Avoid creamy soups like and those with  bacon.

"...with God all things are possible." St. Mark 10: 27

What do you desire? Do you really desire to lose weight. Do you desire the Lord send you in the arms of a kind and loving mate?  Do you desire your husband treat you better?  Do you desire to finally get your college degree?  Do you desire to be a better person?  Be clear. My mother used to always say, "be careful what you ask for, you might get it." God hears everything. Somethings we ask for we forget we asked for it until it comes or it happens. Don't forget, that faith without works is dead. So if you want your situation to change, you have to be willing to do something about it as you pray.

Take time to think about it thoroughly weighing all sides. Think about the good and the bad of yor desire. You can even pray and ask God to even help you with being clear on what you want from him. Read his word. All of it! At least a few minutes three times per day like Daniel did. Learn to praise him with you lips as well as your actions. Cry to him, tell him what you feel, what you think, what you need, ask him to correct your thinking, to strengthen your heart, TALK TO JESUS! Sing to him, shout his name when you are happy, when you are distressed, when you are working, even in your mind while you sleep! Love him and find out how he wants to be loved.

Remember that love is a verb, it is an action word as well as a noun. It is a thing, an idea. It requires that we think as well as act upon it. If you love God, do something. Read 1 John 4 to find out about God and the kind of love he requires. In loving him, keep your mind on Jesus, daily. Psalms 119:164 also said to praise him 7 times each day. Once you are clear, pray, ask God for whatever you want. If you commit your self to him, delight in doing so, trust him, wait on him, and forgive others, God made you promises that he will keep.

If your life and your desire is within his will then he made a obligation to make it happen for you. Learn what it is that he wants his servants to do with their lives, the book will tell you that. The scripture says eat it, that simply means to read it all the time pray for understanding, meditate on it, recite it, write down passages
you feel. Eat his word rather than over indulging in any vice. Eat it rather than overeat on food. God is your strength and your comfort, not food and the love of man or woman. 

The Temptations - Memories

Crock Pot Recipe - Chicken Soup

Before there was soup, there was broth, which people used to pour over a piece of bread in a bowl. That bread was known as "sop." From sop came the word used for today's winter favorite, soup.

Is chicken soup, in and of itself, really a "medicine" of sorts? Does it actually possess healing capabilities, or is its magic all in our heads? Many doctors say that chicken soup to help alleviate a cold is an old wive's tale. Old wive's tale or not, I have found that when I cover my head, ears, neck, and limbs and bless my body with a large bowl of hot chicken soup, then curl up in my bed under the covers, my cold symptoms almost immediately subsides.

"Chicken contains an amino acid called cysteine, a substance released when you make the soup. This amino acid is similar to the drug acetylcysteine, which is prescribed by doctors to patients with bronchitis. It thins the mucus in the lungs, making it easier to cough out. And hot chicken vapors have been proven more effective than hot water vapors in clearing out the cold in your nose." http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/05/12/14/does_chicken_soup_have_healing_powers_004.htm

Combined with a plethroa of healing and healthy vegetables, such as garlic, onions, carrots, celery, parley, and others, no wonder my body thinks chicken soup is a great 'medicine' for my cold.

This is what you will need to get your pot of winter cold medicine brewing in your crock pot:

4 cups of fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth
3 large cut up carrots
3 stalks of celery
A bunch of chopped parsley
2 parsnips cut up
A turnip or two
2 large chopped onions
5-6 large gloves of chopped garlic
2 cubed wash chicken breast ( I always parboil the blood and fat out of my chicken before use)
An array of chicken parts (washed and parboiled)
1/2 cup of uncooked noodles
Salt and pepper

This is what you need to do:

Place all the ingredients except chicken and noodles in your slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for up 4 hours. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add the chicken and noodles and cook on low for another hour. This is 'medicine' that is good for the soul. If you like it hot add a few hot chile peppers or cayenne pepper to taste.

Eating soups can help you stay on track with your weight loss. Many nutritionists suggest that one should chase it with a nutritious and filling meal. A recent study found that people ate 20 percent fewer calories overall when they started lunch or dinner with a bowl of vegetable soup. Experts suggest that one should limit themselves about 1 cup of soup before a healthy meal and make sure it's broth based. It seems creamy soups are pack with hidden fat and salt that will sabotage the shedding tactics.

When you want to make soup your meal, add your favorite bean, eat a little more than a cup, add a fresh salad, a few crackers, or cut up pita bread. Then you have yourself a nice healthy meal useful for shedding extra pounds. Soup made from scratch and including a variety of fresh vegetables is low in calories. Enjoy!

I want to Live Longer Than They Did!

A few years ago,  I was depressed by the fact that I am almost the oldest living relative on my mother’s side of the family. I can now claim to be one of the elders. Amazing! I never thought this day would come. The thought of it caused me great anxiety. I always knew that my elder family lived on diets that would kill a horse. I never really fathomed the day that their diets and unhealthy lifestyles would cause me to be a family elder knocking on the doors of the age of 54.

I was already conscious of diet and health, since I have spent my tenure as wife and mother trying hard to make sure my family ate properly. I consciously explained to my children issues of health including committing to God, prayer, praise, immunizations and preventive health care utilizing tools such as herbal, vitamin, and mineral supplements. I can say of a surety that I taught my children how to take care of themselves. I have consciously given them the information and tools they need to live longer than my elders. However, I, like many women neglected to spend enough time and energy taking care of myself.  On my 49th birthday, I made a commitment to myself and to my grandchildren, who are unborn to do better in this regard.

Metabolism is the amount of energy your body burns to maintain itself and function from moment to moment and day to day. The body burns this energy in the form of calories whether you are eating, reading, sleeping, performing household chores, or walking. The amount of muscle in the body compared to its amount of fat determines a person’s metabolism. The muscle in the body requires more calories for maintenance than fat. Therefore, a person who has more fat than muscle has a lower metabolism. My lifestyle had no allowances of regular exercise. Very often I forgot to eat when it was time to eat, even though the children ate on time. While they were eating, I was often busying performing other household or business tasks. I called myself using my time wisely.

Thus, when nighttime feel upon me, the children were in bed, my books were put away, and the work for the day done, I finally thought about eating. Some nights I would be so famished, I could not be satisfied. My cells were unnourished and functioning improperly. I began to see the same signs of an unhealthy body in which my elder relatives experience before their bodies literally shut down.  I looked in the mirror one day and wondered, who that robust women, who was a a hefty size 26 looking at me in the mirror.  I wanted to teach my grandchildren how to read, so they could learn what it takes for salvation.  I knew I wouldn't have this honorable pleasure if I didn't do something and do something fast.  So, I committed to a different and healthier lifestyle. I began to put the knowledge I have imparted on others to practice. I started by doing what I needed to do to loose get my metabolism moving so I could lose weight.  I got out more, I helped others in need, and I made occassions to laugh with old friends.  I made a committment to myself to eat better, move more, and laugh.  Today, I feel so good both emotionally and physically. 

Take out you journal.  What is it that you need to change in your life?  Do you need to lose weight? Stop smoking? Go back to school for certification or a degree?  Get out from in front of the TV, my mother used to call an idiot box.   Spend time with your children.  What?  How can you change it?  What do you think you need to do first?  What are your next steps?  What is your ultimate goal?  What resources do you need?  Who can you ask for help?  Who can hold you accountable?  What is your action plan?  When will you start?  What is your timeline?  Write your plan.  Pray over it.   Now work your plan.  Be sure to write it down and keep track of your progress.

Hope in God

You can get caught up in the trap of self-pity very quickly and without being conscious of it. If this happens then shift your perspective. Firstly, look around you. Be grateful.  When things in life are challenging, it is very difficult to look around and see things to be grateful for.  Think about those things for which you can be grateful. Life can always be worse. Consider the things you have in your life, the things that have gone well for you that you have taken for granted. Think about those things that others would love to have, to be, or to be able to do that you have and are able to do.  A minister told me once that I needed to learn to be content with my situation and with what I had. I finally learned and guess what happened, I began to feel better about thinkgs and things changed completely for the better.  However, I am noting that they did not make an about face until I was stopped fretting about what they were. 

Secondly, practice my "How to Let Go" exercise. 
http://michellerhnea.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-11-24T19:00:00-06:00&max-results=5

Lastly, another way to shift your perspective is to do something for someone in need. Visit a sick relative, assist a helpless neighbor, volunteer at a food pantry to feed people who have no food. Take a bag lunch and a blanket to a homeless person living on the street with no shelter from the rain. Visit the hospital and read a story to a child who has no legs, no arms, or who is dyeing from a terminal disease. Think about your blessings, count them and thank God for them one by one.

As bad as things are, believe you me, it could be far worse.  Think about it.  Take a moment to think about how bad it could be instead. Don't sit in these thoughts too long though.  Allow these brief thoughts to shake you out of self pity.  There is no need to sit in self pity for self pity's sake.  Get out of it and get out if it quickly or things may just get worse.  Thoughts are spirit and we can bring about calamity by thinking about calamity too long.  The human brain is an amazing instrument.  Use it to grow you faith instead of increase your troubles.  With God's help, I have learned that being grateful, learning to let go, and being content will shatter the difficulty and make life change for the better.  Remember, it worse things could happen.  Let your face smile for the things that are good right now.  Never forget to thank the Heavenly Father for the blessings, gifts,and talents He has given to you and realize that He didn't have to give them.

Reward Yourself for Reaching Your Goals

What are your goals?  What happens when you reach them?  Who even recognized your success?  Love yourself!  How do you reward yourself?  Rewards create a greater sense of accomplishment. They help you acquire the feeling that you are doing something you want to do, not just what you’re forcing yourself to do. Even the smallest of rewards when you reach your goals can work wonders as you move from benchmark to benchmark, goal to goal, pound to pound, and size to size success to success whatever they may be.

Develop for yourself a good reward system. Make the rewards meaningful to you. As a reward, a new pair of shoes may not hold as much motivation for some as a simple night alone with a book. Then again, for others, like me for instance, it might. A new pair of shoes, a new hat, a new purse, and especially a new dress does my soul well. Sometimes, though, the best rewards are those you can’t buy.

Plan to celebrate your long-term weight loss goal. Figure out now how you’re going to celebrate reaching your big weight loss goal. Involve other people in your celebration. Create a celebration that you can anticipate and then keep it within sight all the time.

Everyone likes a pat on the back every once in a while. Moreover, there is no better time to give yourself a pat on the back than when you have accomplished a weight loss goal. Rewards help you to challenge yourself and to improve even more. They even help to ease any reluctance you are still holding onto in the back of your mind regarding your success.

Most people approach weight loss from a position of agony. Our reluctance and our own fear constantly cause us to feel blighted, some of us berate ourselves and accept nothing but perfection. No matter how much progress is made some of us have practiced pulling our own spirits down that we miss the mark for success. Attitudes such as these display and very often speak of fear, guilt, doubt, and shame. For some of us, we beat ourselves up, we are our own worse critic. This is learned behavior and probably stems from an external source. Someone either in our past or who surrounds us currently have beat us up so much that they don’t need to anymore. We have taken over their work.

Sound familiar? If this rings a bell, it is definitely time for a change of mind. You are in charge of your life. You have choices. You can choose success and good health or, whatever the negative outcomes bring. Instead of focusing on the pounds you have not lost yet, celebrate those you have lost. For people used to beating themselves up, being a self-critic may seem like the best way to get motivated. However, consider this for a moment. If you attempted to motivate an employee like that, how long do you think they’d stick around? If you attempt to motivate your children, your neice and nephew, your friend, your husband, or your wife in this manner, how many times will you experience their loving smile? How long will you enjoy the benefits of their presence? How successful would they really be?

Therefore, instead of finding things to criticize in yourself, look at your positive aspects. Look at your success thus far, be grateful about them. Go further and show your gratitude to God, who is our help and our strength. Then begin to reward yourself regularly for your accomplishments for reaching a short-term weight loss goal. Learn to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a word of encouragement. Let your encouragement and your motivation come from within. Instead of focusing on what you do wrong, or waiting for others to encourage you, try paying more attention to what you do right. This positive approach to living will ensure your continued success in your shedding of extra pounds as well as other aspects of your life. You are in charge of our own destiny. Decide what you want, where you want to go, seek God’s counsel, ask for his help, and go for it. “Faith without works is dead.” Let there be no pity party within you!

What does your body need? Do you even know?

Stress significantly contributes to ill health. It is a major factor in obesity, high blood pressure, strokes, ulcers, as well as heart disease. If I'm feeling stressed  I  need to relax, meditate, go through my "Letting Go" process, and I need to pray.  http://michellerhnea.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-11-24T19:00:00-06:00&max-results=5

If nobody else doesn't love me,  I do and I know my  body needs the Vitamin B6 found in bananas, figs, prunes, potatoes chick peas, cauliflower, and fortified cereals.  I know my body needs the antixodants and the nutrients found in red reshi or ganaderma.  So I give the body I love what it needs.  I drink several cups of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate that contains the ganaderma miracle everyday. 

Also, biotin found in soybeans, liver, fish, egg yolks, and whole grains may also help my  body deal with stresses in life.  Biotin is  a water-soluble B vitamin, acts as a coenzyme in the metabolism of protein. fats, and carbohydrates.  Unrefined carbohydrates found in all fruits and vegetables, leguumes brown rice, bran and other whole grains is also be useful in helping my  body cope.  I've noticed that it is not the amount of protein my body intakes but the amount of protein compared to carbohydrates.  Though I need the carbohydrates found in fruits and vegetables, I need protein more, and not the protein in meats.  As a matter of fact, my body doesn't handle protein in meats very well anymore.  As I age, I need more natural proteins.  such as that found in almonds.  Spirulina and protein shakes, does my body well.  I know that as I age my body needs it fill of calcium, is the most prevalent and one of the most important minerals in the human body.
It is necessary for my bone health and preventing osteoporosis, but it has many other benefits too. 
It also helps to protect cardiac muscles, prevent colon cancer, alleviate the symptoms of PMS, and helps to maintain body weight and prevent obesity.  I know I can get it from the stuff I love like, Kale greens, white fish, and black beans.

Because I love myself, I add more fluids to your diet, mostly good alkaline water.  When I am stressed additional water, fresh fruit or vegetable juices, or green tea with ganaderma enhances the body's innate coping mechanisms. When I add calcium, B-complex, vitamin C, and potassium supplements to my diet, I am better able to cope with stress even when the stressful person or things refuses to go away.  You have got to get to know your body and give it what it needs to feel good.

My body needs the miracle of ganaderma to  promote health and longevity relieve fatigue, keep cholesterol in check, curb syptoms of high blood pressure, tame inflammation that flares up in the body, build stamina, and support the immune system.   Of course we want to always consult our physican if experiencing help problems.  Take out your journal and record your body's reactions to different foods you eat.   My point is, what does your body need?  Do you even know?  Does you body feel good when you take the medication you've been prescribed?  Does it feel good when you take vitamins?  Which ones?  How does your body feel when you don't drink enough water?  How does it feel when you get 8 hours of restful sleep compared to 5 hours?  Does your body feel better when you eat a bowl of mac & cheese as opposed to a bowl of brown rice?  How does your body feel after exercising vs if you don't exercise at all?  What kind of exercise does your body well?    Love yourself and find out what your body needs.    In the meantime, order your beverages containing the ganaderma miracle. It's a good start. "And I'm feeling good"....in my Jennifer Hudson voice.  Click here to check out the miracle in coffee, hot chocolate, and tea :http://thepurplerose.organogold.com/US/r_default.asp



Works Cited
High Protein as an Effective Tool for Weight Management  Am J Clin Nutr.   Paddon-Jones D, Westman E, Mattes RD, Wolfe RR, Astrup A, Westerterp-Plantenga M.

Protein, Leucine, and Aging  J. Nutr.   Satoshi Fujita and Elena Volpi.

Higher Protein Boosts Muscle Metabolism and Weight Loss  J Am Coll Nutr.   Layman DK.

High Protein Diets Help Bones, Low Protein Diets Harm Bones   Eur J Nutr.  Tucker KL, Hannan MT, Kiel DP.

It's Just Life: Hello World!

It's Just Life: Hello World!: Why do I feel the need to write yet another blog about "life" when there are so many blogs written by Life Coaches? …..Hmmmm, good questio...

Your Body Will Love You

Antioxidants are chemical substances in food that protect the body’s cells from oxidation. Oxidation is to the body as rust is to iron. It is like unto corrosion found around your water pipes in your basement. It is decay, decomposition, and deterioration. Oxidation is caused by free and unstable radicals like unto oxygen atoms. They attack the body’s cells and DNA. This could lead to cancer. These cancer causing atoms are stabilized by chemicals produced in plant foods called antioxidants. Antioxidants in plants foods keep the rogue atoms from harming the body’s cells.  Specifically "Ganoderma lucidum is an Asian medicinal mushroom that has been used for the past two thousand years for the treatment of various diseases, including cancer. G. lucidum is currently popular as a dietary supplement in the form of tea, powder or extract. It has been previously demonstrated that G. lucidum suppresses growth, angiogenesis and invasiveness of highly invasive and metastatic breast cancer cells." (Thyagarajan A,  1)

Fortify your body with lots of all natural preventive medicine with plant foods and Organo Gold beverages that contain ganaderma.  You can get your coffee, tea, or hot chocolate by clicking this link.  http://thepurplerose.organogold.com/US/r_default.asp   The science is simple and clear. The body is being constantly attacked by harmful substances from both our environment as well as our diets. Fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, and seeds are good for you. You increase necessary disease fighting chemicals by eating antioxidant rich foods. By eating plenty of plant foods you allow disease fighting chemicals to flow through your bloodstream freely and free radicals that destroy cells, tissues, organs, and DNA are counterattacked. Do you see why antioxidants from plant foods are imperative for fighting diseases such as cancer and heart disease? They are necessary so that outside influences such as smoking, pollution, synthetic chemicals added to our water and food does not harm us. Plant foods are the natural free-radical fighting mechanisms that God created inside of us. They give our bodies strength to fight in our behalf. According to the experts they are the best protection from the ills of common diseases associated with aging.

Food supplements are inexpensive and help to provide many health benefits to your entire body and brain. Many people use these supplements as part of an anti-aging program. Keeping your cells from being destroyed goes a long way with the ingestion of fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, and seeds. They are key to staying healthy and aging gracefully. They are the best ammunition in the inevitable disease fighting battles. Therefore; arm yourself well by eating plenty of plant foods.

To get your body filled with the antioxidants of Ganaderma, order your coffe, tea, or hot chocalate at this link.  http://thepurplerose.organogold.com/US/r_default.asp

It's in the bevarages and your body will love you!

Works Cited
Thyagarajan A, Jiang J, Hopf A, Cancer Research Laboratory, Methodist Research Institute, Indianapolis, IN 46202, USA.International Journal of Molecular Medicine [2006, 18(4):657-64]

http://ukpmc.ac.uk/search/?page=1&query=AUTH:%22Sliva+D%22+SORT_DATE:y 

But, How do I Let it Go?

I have been told many times that I need to learn how to let it go but nobody could tell me HOW to let go.  I wanted to let go.  I knew that if I didn't let go I'd cry a whole lot longer than I wanted to cry.  I knew letting go was the right thing to do, but I just didn't know how.  I was told I wanted to hold on to the bad stuff but honestly, I needed someone to tell me what steps to take to let go.  Unfortunately no one could instead they did one of three things, stared at me in disbelief, got angry and insulted me, or laughed.  I guess I wasn't born with this kind of intelligence.   I was sincere, this was not my kind of smart.  I have learned that no questions is a stupid or bad question and I know that someone else out there has the same problem of letting go that I do.   I saw folks move on as act like they weren't hurt or angry.  I really couldn't do it so easitly.  I was one who lived within the confines of "time heals all things."  Well sometimes, it took too much time.  So, without help from the people who told me to let it go, I created my own process for letting go.  Guess what?  It worked,  as I went through this process a few times, I felt myself beginning to let go.  I could literally feel the pain and heart ache or the anger and bittterness go.  This is what I did because I was tired of crying and feeling badly.  The first time I did, I didn't take note of the process I was creating for myself.  After a few times, I began to take mental not of what I was doing, eventually I was able to go through the process and write it down.  When I was done, I felt so much better.   Here are the steps I took. 

1. I began by lying down comfortably on my bed, sometimes I'd lie on my couch, yoga a mat, or blanket on the floor. I supportted my head on a pillow or a folded blanket so that my neck and throat were soft and relaxed.

2. I then positioned a pillow or blanket under my knees in order to support my  knees and to stretch and relax my spine.

3. I closed my eyes and released my shoulders away from my neck and allowed my arms and my legs to rest slightly away from my body.  The first time I did this step a little differently but I couldn't remember exactly what I did here so I created another way.

4. I kept my eyes closed but don't force them shut too tightly.  Next, I began to breathe softly and naturally. I focus my  mind on Jesus and his love for his people and remembered he said he came to bring me back to The Father.  I took it personally, this was all about me and how I had to learn to trust him for real.  In a short time the relaxing sensations from him flowing through my  body began to permeate me.  I felt like The Most High was releasing  warm and nurturing breathes from my head to my toe. The deep and slow breathing flowed into every part of my  body causing me to feel less pain, stress, and tension from the challenge I was facing in life.  The breathing is similar to the breathing in meditation or yoga class.

5. I followed my  breath with my  mind as it flowed into my  chest, my shoulders, my  arms. I allowed the breath to go into my  arms.

6. I repeated the words from one of my favorite gospel songs.  "My Creator  is greater than my pain, my problem".   I repeated that and this, "He is greater than the stress and challenges I am  facing right now. I forced myself not to  think about anything but the things that were right and good in my  life. I thought about how blessed I was.  I learned to be content. as I thought about 100 things that I could thank God for at that moment.  As I went through my list I began to praise God  while I continued to take deep breaths.  I  praised Him for his goodness, his mercy, and his lovingkindness. As I praised him I began to cry.  But this time the tears were different.  I felt the agony I was going through being released.  I felt  like I was actually beginning to know what it was like to "let go and let God."

7. The breaths I took caused  a softness and an openness in the palms of my hands. The breaths and the praising made me want to open my  hands.  I let the breathe flow down into my fingers and out.  I felt like now I was in charge instead of my anger or my hurt.  I felt the bitter that was building inside of me, subside. After a few of these sessions with me and my God.  I could feel the bitterness leave and peace enter. 

8. I followed  my  breathes  into my  hips, through my legs and into my feet.  I was able to let go of the tension, the pain, and the problem down through my legss.  I let it go into my feet.

9. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go, I repeated to myself.  As I breathed I received each breathe as a gift of healing life and the life force from God.

10. I opened my mind to new life from God's energy flowing through my body. I visualized God's greatness and my blessings as gentle streams of God's goodness.  I thought about Psalms 136 and was going to read it when I finished breathing and praising.

11. I could feel my body being healed, renewed, and restored as I imagined God sending  positive energy penetrating from deep within my core into each layer of my body.  He was healing me.

12. I let my mind become silent of everything except praises to God. I rested in this place of praise until I could feel a smile in your heart and  on your face. Visualize your heart, your body healed and whole, supported by God. Let it go. Give it to him and don't pick it back up. 

13. You may remain in deep relaxation as long as you are comfortable. When  I was ready, I began to move my  body, gently and lovingly, so that that  I didn't disturb the healing that had taken place.  I didn't want to feel anything esle. It felt good. 

14. After a while, I slowly rolled over onto my  side and came to a comfortable seated position  I was smiling from deep down as I fell into a deep and restful sleep.  Each time I took myself through this "letting go " process I felt my smile widen and my peace deepen.

15. I literally felt my burden lifted, I saw my healing. After the most perfect nap I opened my  palms and lifted my hands in praise.

16.  I honor Jesus as my  source of healing and I thank him. I experienced a renewed source of energy and healing from God after I was done. 

I began taking myself through this "letting go" process in 2008, and I am still smiling.  Sometimes when I go through the process I play whatever music suits my fancy in the background, whether it be soft and slow gospel music, harps, or other instrumentals.  It's almost 2012 and I still feel at peace.