Saturday, December 29, 2012

Tears Behind the Glad Face

Do you believe adults are bullied too?  Do you believe it happens in the church?  Indirect bullying happens in the church too, though it is less obvious.  When the bullied person complains or speaks about it to anyone, he or she is made to be a trouble maker.  He or she is branded as a person who sows discord.

Indirect bullying in the church includes saying mean or untrue things about a person so they can hear you.  It includes not speaking back to a person when they look you in the eye and speak to you.  It includes spreading rumors about that person, most of the time unwarranted, unconfirmed, not witnessed, or witnessed circumstantial.  It also includes ignoring someone and treating them as if they don't exist and they don't matter. 

There are bullies and bullied people everywhere, including the church.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Check out my collection of soon to be published short stories. 

In Each Moment by Michelle Rhnea

As a writer it is my responsibility to develop characters you feel and have bad things happen to them. In Each Moment  is a collection of short stories depicting the struggles, hurts, joys, and triumphs of women longing for the one thing that would make them whole and fulfilled. Self-Love. Here you will find four samples from In Each Moment available in June, 2012. They are hot & heavy; heavy & hot!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

A Lot to Celebrate

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Commanded by The Most High to remember it.                                
Leviticus 23 first spoke of it.
The prophet Moses told Israel of it.
Joel said Blow ye the trumpet of Zion to let the people know of it.
Reminding us of that great day of the Lord and the power he will show in it. 
Afflicting our souls each year 5 days before the start of it.
No food     no drinks      nor any of our own pleasures to do before it.
That great and terrible day of the Lord is by reason of it.
Who shall be able to stand in contrast to it.

All inside of Revelations is where we read of it.
God will gather his people from the four corners of the world on it
At the sound of the 7th trump beams true of it. 
The prophets and apostles all knew of it.
King Solomon built an elaborate temple so God could live in it.
Nehemiah re-dedicated this temple after Israel was taken away from it.
John wrote out of the heart of Christ shall “flow rivers of living water” on it
Blessed to know who I am in light of it.
Where I am   right here    right now    in God’s plan in view of it
Sanctified and set apart for where my inheritance lies due to it.
All God’s feast days born of  it

God will gather in his people who trust in it.
The world created other days to celebrate in lieu of it.
Jump for joy   raise your arms    thank God    on account of it.
Pat your feet clap your hands on behalf of it.
Lift your voice to sing praise thanks to it.
Choose to believe in his word since The Father is the one who planned it
And he is the one who has the all the power to finish it
We have a lot to celebrate by reason of it.

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords will finish his ministry cut short from it.
He will rule Israel , 1000 years of peace in his Kingdom on Earth right afore it.
Sitting now on the right hand of the Father interceding so we can be included in it.
Raised to go prepare New Jerusalem with streets of gold entrenched into it.
This city where all those who are called by the name of Israel will live forever in it.   
The prophets and apostles all lived their lives for it. 
The celebrated 8th day ultimately is it.
The body will forever be delivered from the power of death upon it.
This is where our inheritance lies and we got a lot to celebrate.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's Real


Scarred within are she and her children.
The children run when they hear his key.
To his son he said, “You dog”
To his daughter he said, “You are ugly”

To his wife he constantly said, “You are a whore”
No cracked bones.
No blood from sliced flesh.
Obscure stats
Wounds that no one can see yet she can feel
Blemishes she can sense in her offspring.
Reaching epidemic proportions
Occurred most everyday
Who says it doesn't matter? Did you feel it too?
Others say she made too much of things
He says it was all in her mind
Some say her sons needed their father’s influence no matter the harm
Others say her daughters would not learn to sustain a relationship
Who can  mouth judgement if you haven't bunked there?
Scripture says God literally hates putting away
So does she         so do they
Witnessed of the wife of thy youth
Anguished by, “should she have stayed and are they better off?
Who knows the plight of a comfortless woman who sleeps next to a man bittered by a life before she wasn't there?
He gets to move on smile perky abated by new help.
While they fight with, “Do we matter?”
Who can mend the hearts broken when he treats them as if they don’t matter?
She thinks the scar that no one can see is healed,
But it keeps lifting its ugly head making her smile go away.
How can he ignore his children as if they don't exist?
How can he depart while their hearts bleed,
While they try to create a normal living
Grieving for an authentic benevolent head
He was expected to rule.   But with an iron hand?
And the basilica cold-shoulders her as if she were nothing.
Improper use of a wife and children
Sad face       tear drop     churning stomach   come and go    from out of nowhere
It's emotional       It's abusive        It's real.
Thoughts loom in her ear, "Why don't you just give up?"
"Give up and do what?"
Eve listened         She will not.
Because iniquity shall abound there are men who find revile too.
Who will ever cherish her like Christ loves the church?
Phew! He’s coming back soon. Thank God!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Memoirs: Emotional abuse


The word misogyny made its way into my lexis the year I decided to make a major life style modification. I abruptly abandoned a marriage of twenty-one years with a "cultured" misogynist husband with five dependent children. My eldest son had just entered college in another state; my sixteen-year-old daughter was preparing to graduate high school at the tumultuous age of sixteen. I also had very "busy" six-year-old twins one always in trouble and the other blind in one eye and can't see out of the other. I had a pre-adolescent male child who was extremely insecure, a bankrupt business of seventeen years, depth up to my nose, a deadbeat father who was dying of cancer and now needing my help, and a good reputation that was then shattered because of my choice.

As a means of self-therapy I read book after book on emotional abuse, its effects on women and children, and how to recover. I came across a book called, "Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them" written by a psychologist who wrote the book as self-therapy for she too was trying to regain a confident and productive life after spending ten years with a misogynist husband. It was during this reading that the word misogyny entered into my vocabulary.

According to the author, misogyny [ I pronounced it, "miso-gyny" as in gyne-cologist], is a man who hates women. Additionally, the author defined the suffix gyny as women. The Oxford English Dictionary also defines it as the hate or contempt of women; however, it does not specify this woman hater as particularly male. It has a Greek prefix, miso, meaning hatred. The Oxford English Dictionary declares "gyny" or "gyne" to be a queen, the fertile female of an ant colony. It is interesting to me how a term so commonly used to refer to female temperament and female bodies would carry the meaning a an ant colony. Ants are tiny, meaningless, useless, and can be easily squashed and eliminated. What is the connotation here? Who would refer to the female gender in such context? Why are bugs, especially the insignificant ant, used to define females of the human race?

In "Confessions of a Recovering Mysogynist" by Kevin Powell the author discusses feelings and insights of misogyny that are commonalities in the birth of many male misogynists. Among these commonalities is the fact that first, history books have not given accurate accounts of women and the contributions made by us. Secondly, mothers often spoil our sons by not requiring them to be responsible and productive.

Lastly, and alternately, women often give rise to feelings of abandonment by the fathers of our children and instill blame by oppressing our sons and "beating them down". This widespread conduct has given birth of a great number of society's misogynistic men.

Because men have been the most frequent writers of history, Kevin Powell and so many other young children have not had the privileged to encounter contributions of females in American history. It stands to reason that men have never been alone in this earth. Women are their grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters, and daughters. They have been on the island called earth by themselves. It stands to reason that even though not documented, women have played major roles in the development of this nation. I sat in my car waiting for choir rehearsal to start last week. I read Jane Eyre as I waited. A brother came up to my car to speak to me and give me a brotherly kiss on the jaw. When he saw that I was reading the book called "Women's Voices", he jokingly said," what are you reading that garbage for, women have made no real contributions to literature". I gave his response no attention. I realize that misogynist men are all around me and that they have been wrought by society. Mr. Powell describes how males dominated the history books since Betsy Ross was "virtually" the only woman mentioned in American history.

Further, she had a menial job, she sewed the American flag by hand. Sewing is depicted as menial, insignificant, and requiring little skill. Powell nor any other child reading these history books today have not been told that if Ms. Ross was a mother she shaped and molded the mind of man. It was not written nor is it now written that if Ms. Ross was a wife, she influenced if not designed, the thoughts and actions of a man. Neither Mr. Powell nor my own sons have learned in school that women were influential in the development of this nation. I realize that it will take much time and much "re-education" to alter the minds of our men. I am patient with them though, I understand their beginnings and I will subtly or openly (whichever the situation allows for) help to re-educate them.

Misogynistic behavior is developed in some males when they are not expected to wash dishes and perform other chores around the house. Like Kevin Powell whose mother did not require he do chores many little boys today are only required to take out the garbage and maybe cut the grass. Some little boys today are still taught that aggressive behavior is normal, acceptable and oftentimes even expected of them. Little boys are still taught that the world is theirs for the taking. They are still encouraged to fight each other, build and work with their hands. I have witnessed my cousin telling her son who is under the age of two to admire and even touch a female's leg that she deemed as big and pretty, especially when the woman wears stockings. I witnessed grab his hand and put it on the leg of her girlfriend while she said, "see doesn't that feel good" and "isn't that pretty". Little boys listen to their fathers and brothers call females bitches and whores on a daily basis. Like Kevin Powell, little boys are still being trained at home, at school, at church, and by the media to disregard women and their importance.

Surprisingly, though most women consciously agree to lay down with a man and bear his children, they blame these children, especially male children if these fathers abandon them. Very often, the hatred women feel when they are dejected and rejected by their sperm donors is taken out on their sons. The poor little boys are objects of more intense oppression if they happen to physically resemble their fathers. God forbid they exhibit behavior or mannerisms similar to their fathers. I witnessed my aunt turn her son into a monster by constantly beating him down physically and mentally because he looked like his father who abandoned her. Unlike Powell though, he has not been able to recover.
Men who hate women are not born. They are developed. There are many societal ills that instill this behavior in boys and men. Women have always been influential in the lives of men. It will take women to take conscious efforts to empower our daughters, our fellow sisters, and us. It will take the consorted effort of women to change our misogynist fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons into Kevin Powells, "recovering misogynist".

 http://www.helium.com/items/422720-reflections-emotional-abuse

Friday, January 13, 2012

You are So Beautiful

You are so beautiful Black child
you are talented and gifted
You are wonderfully made by God himself
Hold your head up
Pull your pants up and cover up your thighs
know that you are loved
know that you are appreciated
Don’t give the enemy any place to worsen your dilemma
Don’t let anyone lower your low self esteem or cause you to doubt
You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made
This could be your year to decree it and speak it
This could be the year of new beginnings
So get the move on Black child
God is faithful to perform all that He has promised to you
If you follow his lead you are his chosen
Chosen to be kings, queens, leaders, and priests
Be confident in Him and His word.
You Black child have power
The words you speak from your mouth determine your outcome
Why not speak good and positive things over your life
You are not defeated but rather
you are more than a conqueror
You may have been through a lot in your short life
But when I look at you I see a dimmed light
You are just as beautiful and as strong as ever
They told you you can be what you want to be in times past
You can
Oh how blessed you are
Look what God has done and look where He has brought you from
They stole your mothers and fathers from familiar shores
They didn’t want you to learn how to read
They lynched you and tried to keep your mind enslaved
For some time you played into their hands
You have killed each other so they didn’t have to
But today is a new day
You are beautiful Black Child
You can be what you want to be
Be good
Be positive
Be inspired
Be encouraged
Be uplifted
Be the best
It’s easy
Begin to bless God and praise Him for all that He has done
and for making you so beautiful
and for making you so talented
and for making you so intelligent
and for making you so strong
and for making you just who you are
and for making you the apple of his eye
He had you in his precious hands all the time
Your life is orchestrated by Him.
All you have to do is turn
He knows you and what is best for you
Believe that He has even greater things in store for you
And your children
and your children’s children
Hey Black child
get over the silly stuff
the bad stuff
the stuff that you know is not right
and grab hold of faith
Seek God as never before
Sure, times are hard
Sure, life is rough
Sure, there are difficult challenges you must face
Sure, there are people who try to hold you back
but God is good
Learn to love who He has made you
There is no one like you
You are unique
You are special
There are many things and people
present in the world that will work
to break you down.
The worst thing you can do is help them.
Within these words,
within these pages,
my only hope is
that you find something
to help you define yourself.
My hope is that within
this union of contemporary psalmed passages,
you discover the courage
to be the beautiful individual
you were intended to be.
Enjoy God and enjoy life Black child
There could be good things in store
If you would simply make the right choices
Choose to live right
Choose to go to school
Choose to respect yourself
Choose to respect your elders
Choose to know who you are
Choose to build a nation for your children
Choose to be what you want to be
Mountains will move if you just try
This was written especially for you Black child
With your beautiful selves

Get your copies of She Speaks Psalms and The Purple Rose on  Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=michelle+r+yisrael&x=0&y=0
She Speaks Psalms ISBN 1-60813-056-8 Inspiration, enlightenment, and empowerment for daily living. The author determinedly provides information that is bound to steer her readers to the only source for inner empowerment, The True and Living God. Motivation to live life to its fullest.

The Terror of Urban America - Taken from my book She Speaks Psalms

Ripping in the Village Street
Chasing gray haired women
Running in flocks after someone to beat
Young urban girls and young urban boys
Killing and  maimed  and broken
Playing with guns like they are toys

Taken into Egypt again long ago
Brought into this North Country by ship
Chained and shackled and whipped and mamas couldn’t see them grow
Stolen from the Ivory Coast
Sold for bondmen and bondwomen
Welcomed by an unsavory host

Urban youth hidden in prison houses
Standing at the heads of the street
On this corner and that
Filled with iniquity
Loved waxed colder than ice
His blood on the heads of the children of those
Who requested His life
Want no part in the blood of the lamb
Cursed in the city and cursed in the field

Called by this proverb and that
Won’t sing John Newton’s Amazing Grace
The anguish of stolen race whose children still won’t obey

Vexed and rebuked and traumatized and devastated and perishing quickly
Wisdom or knowledge or understanding is far from their minds
Smitten with consumption and stricken with fever
Filled with violence and inflammation in the brain
Pursued by pestilence, disease, drugs, and sirens
Evil written in their heart and wretched controlling their minds
Immoral in the tips of their fingers and embedded in their toes

Children of the priests meant to be taught to lead
Born to gain skill in being head and born to access the Leader of the pack
Who gave His life     to save them    to protect them     to comfort them
Yet they can’t passage the door where his comfort walks

They were conceived to be sons and daughters of kings and queens
Though removed into all kingdoms of the earth
Yet they are still dishonoring parents
cut off before their prime
The source of a civil war and caught in a yoke that is not easy nor light
Children whose minds have been tainted and twisted
and seared but strong and perplexed but growing still
and ravished and ill-treated and instructed in voracious
and beleaguered and dispraised and tormented
by priests and teachers and mothers and fathers
and aunts and uncles and brothers and neighbors
and those who were supposed to love them instead
Unrighteous and forsaken a seed begging bread
Using their tongues to call elders by names unseemly
Unnurtured and misused and ostracized and misjudged
and not raised and abused and ignored and untaught
Victims who victimize
Taint nobody’s pleasure
A hot mess
Making their calling and election from this cause unsure
Refusing to honor the hoary head
Won’t take part of the Lamb of God
Terrorized, terrorizer, terrorizing, terrorful, terrorizes
The terror of Urban America
Unable to access God’s good treasure
What’s wrong with em’?
What can we do?
And how do we get them back?
Back to regal and grand
Back to a moral stand
Back to the rich righteous real reverenced revered Rock
Back to a noble stock
Back to what is good and true
Back to love themselves, each other, me and you?

The Power of Waiting

There is absolute, unfathomable healing and power in waiting for prayers to be answered. More often than not after speaking the words in prayer and asking for help, strength, justice, healing, change, and restoration we get weary of the wait. Have you ever prayed for something with all your heart and with great expectation and faith unwavering - and didn't get it? ...then prayed a little longer for that same thing and nothing? ...then you got discouraged and stopped asking, or literally forgot about the prayer and put the expectation of it in the back of your mind? ...then all of a sudden out of the blue, months and sometimes years later - boom! That thing you prayed about or prayed for so long ago comes into fruition.

More often than not, we are not really ready for our prayers to be ansered at the time of the prayer, especially those deep things, those seemingly impossible things we desire. God has to take us through a developmental period which usualy always includes struggle, and challenge, and tumiult like a violent storm that takes place just before a calming phase. Other times God is testing us to make sure that we are worthy of such a blessing. Then there are those times that we don't want to speak about. He is chastising us for what we have intentionally transgressed in the past.

Either way, the only answer is to keep your thoughts and actions focused on that which is right and good without wavering. In this way, the ultimate design is the answer to that prayer that you forgot about. The one you prayed for so earnestly that it brought heart felt remorse, anticipation, desire, and other emotions to both you and Him as you prayed. The Lord heard that prayer and may have immediately begun to work it out for you since he knows the heart and he knows the spirit. He is the only one who does.

You know it is God when what you have prayed for stares you right in the face. No matter how long it took, no matter what changes has occured in your life since that that time, your blessing is real and it feels so natural. It probably brings with it a breath of fresh air, an immediate sense of sunshine beaming in your heart, and an aura of peace so complete it seems unreal.

It is certain that many of us have had this experience. This is a lesson in walking by faith and not by sight. Some things are impossible when looking at it through the eyes of your own flesh or the eyes of man. The problem as we wait we begin to manipulate the situation or that we lose our focus amd don't stay on the path of right and good so that we lose out on that earnest prayer. We just couldn't wait.

The other thing we have to remember as we wait, is that God's time is completely different from ours. He said that a day for us is like a thousand years for him. That means that he may have decided to bless us with that earnest prayer the moment he heard it, but it took time- sometimes a long time to reach us. In the time of wait, we forgot, or we manipulate the situation, or we just plain forgot and gave up. Remember when Daniel prayed and he God sent Gabriel with his answer immediately, but Satan held him up and the Warrior Angel Mikchayel has to come and intervene? Read His word while you wait. There is encouragement and strength hidden deep inside of it. Seek it and it will find you.

Remember, God comes through for those who are obedient to him as he promised he would. Your wait for him will be over sooner or later. Though extremely difficult, waiting is the very thing we need to learn to struggle for. There is true power in waiting for what you asked for ...what you deisred so long ago...that thing that you knew then would bring complete and utter joy to your heart and success to your life. Learn to wait, struggle in it. just make a decision to wait. The benefits are awesome.

His servants are more than conquerors when we focus on him and his expectations of us as we wait. Though it might be difficult to smile as we wait, I guarantee you that the Holy Spirit will erase the frowns, the tears, the tumult, the challenges, and the trouble that occured as we stood waiting for God to answer that earnest prayer we prayed so long ago. The trouble will be dream-like. The scripture says that the earnest expectation of a righteous man (women are also of the man family) availeth much.

While you wait, it is smart and beneficial to spend time sowing seeds on good ground. This will help us to refrain from throwing in the towel on God. There is power is waiting, we can actually wait on The Lord. Don't fret because, sooner or later the wait will be over and we will be able to walk in our season of blessings. Survive the worst of times, God is on your side when you follow his lead, stake your claim, write your name on that blessing, so that you will be able to walk right into that blessings. The time will come that the wait will be over and you will be uplifted in a way you never dreamt. Be encouraged, there will be plenty of time to enjoy that blessing.

The sun will shine, you will be encouraged, you will be more than a conqueror, you will feel peace and joy that is unmeasurable. God will come through. He always does! When he does, speak your testimoney to everyone who will listen and wait for your next blessing! Faith is all about believing the unseen and waiting for it to be reality.

Friday, January 6, 2012

It's Just Life: "...with God all things are possible." St. Mark 10...

It's Just Life: "...with God all things are possible." St. Mark 10...: What do you desire? Do you really desire to lose weight. Do you desire the Lord send you in the arms of a kind and loving mate? Do you desi...

How can we fix this mess?

We ended the age of the baby boomers.  "Anyone who was BORN in the 50's, 60's, 70's... We are the last generation who played in the street. We are the 1st who played video games, the last to record songs off the radio on a cassette tape. We walked over a mile with no worries on being taken... We learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, we played from Atari to Nintendo..We are the generation of Tom and Jerry, Looney Toons, Captain Kangaroo. We traveled in cars w/out seat belts or air-bags, lived without cell phones. We did not have flat screens, surround sound, iPods, Facebook, Twitter, computers or the Internet...But nevertheless we had a GREAT time."

This quote was sent to me by a friend to my inbox. Though it sound grand and makes us smile and feel proud, there is another side that we need to consider.  If we reflect on our past, some of us didn't give our children the tools they needed to raise their children to be sensible, productive, and wise.

We were too busy having fun, engrossed in self aggrandizement.  We forgot from whence we came.  We spent so much time enjoying ourselves and the new freedom we were given from our new civil rights and our new ability to integrate that we forgot the struggles of our ancestors.  We forgot that they didn't want us to read, so many of us rejected education.  We forgot that our families were really all we had, so we rejected familial and community unity.  In many cases, our children grew up but we forgot to raise them and now they have to teach themselves how to raise their children.  We forgot that we weren't allowed to sit in the same restaurants and go to the same theaters, and in many case even walk on the same side of the street so many of us rejected our community stores to shop in theirs.  Our men forgot that they'd be lynched if they even smiled at a woman from another race so they embellished our faults and rejected us for the other that is no longer taboo.  We forgot to teach our children, we forgot to take care of each other, we forgot that what we need to know is hidden in books, we forgot that we were all we had.  We forgot so much, we rejected so much, we neglected so much. 

 When I introduce myself to a group of hard youth I open by apologizing for being a part of the mess, they immediately soften and I have them eating out of my hands.  Think about it, be honest, and look around.  Look around our communities, wherever we are in droves.  We have a very serious problem.   How can we pick the baton back up and begin to pass it to our children?  How can we fix our mess?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Why do we still have this problem?


Many children in school fail.  For a great many, this failure is avowed and absolute.  Close to forty percent of those who begin high school, drop out before they finish.  For college, the figure is one in three.  Many others fail in fact if not in name.  They complete their  schooling only because we have agreed to push them up through the grades and out of the schools, whether they know anything or not.  There are many more such children than we think.  If we ‘raise our standards’ much higher, as some would have us do, we will find out very soon just how many there are.  Our classrooms will bulge with kids who can’t pass the test to get into the next class.

But there is a more important sense in which almost all children fail:  Except for a handful, who may or may not be good students, they fail to develop more than a tiny part of the tremendous capacity for learning, understanding, and creating with which they were born and of which they made full use during the first two or three years of their lives.  Why do thy fail?  They fail because they are afraid, bored and confused." 
This excerpt was taken verbatim from the "The best selling book that tells why bright children do badly in school." How Children Fail  by John Holt written in 1964.  Not one word was changed in this writing. 
Did you get the year, 1964…1964…1964?  It's 2012, that was 48  years ago!

Now do you agree that we clearly have a problem…,And have obviously had one for a long time?  I have another question.  Why hasn’t it been solved yet? That statement reads like a statement that could easily have been spoken by one of our top educators yesterday…..but according to the copyright date in the book I have on my shelf….it was 1964! 

Realistically, how many of our children will be able to compete in the world of work?  Look around you again….this time with a targeted eye?  How many will be able to succeed based on spirituality, education, confidence, or just sheer ‘gumption’?  How many?  Why do we still have this problem?

It's Your Life

You were gifted this life by the creator.  It is yours to do with whatever you please.  You can choose good or bad.  You have the option to choose life or death.  You are able to decide what you do and what you accomplish.  It is even your option to decide to spend your gift doing absolutely nothing.  You are the only one who can decide to be happy, to be successful, to remain depressed, or to be a failure.  You are in charge of being the victim or the victor.

I challenge you to choose well, to live your life to its fullest, to use your gift as a valuable tool for inspiring and helping others.  I challenge you to choose confidence over self doubt.  I invite you to choose optimism over worry.  I encourage you to choose enthusiasm over anxiety.  Use your tongue to speak life to yourself and others.  Move into the mainstream of life.  Know what you want out of life and go for it.  Give up loneliness and build great new healthy relationships.  Get out of the rut of a boring and stressful job and lauch a promising new career or home business for yourself.  Take care of yourself and look as good as you feel.

Make God glad that he gave you the gift of life! 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Be Thankful

In order to make your dreams come true it is important that you follow your passion. It is also important that you follow your passion having clear goals. Your goals will become a reality if you are willing and ready to work hard with perseverance.

Perseverance is striving and trying with unfailing acts of patient effort. It indicates that continuos toil, exertion, strain, drudgery, travail, and work be applied, activated, practiced, put use, and adjusted. To persevere means that you try and try again. It means that you don’t stop until what you sought and worked for is accomplished. It means that you don’t stop until you are successful. When you try hard enough and long enough and your efforts don’t produce your aim, then perseverance implies that your efforts be adjusted. Try again another way, then another, and another. Practice until whatever it is that you want to accomplish is achieved, until it is completed, until you have reached success.

It is imperative that as you persevere you avoid feeling sorry for yourself when you goals seem as though they aren’t being accomplished. Keep a positive attitude. It is easy for negative thinking to be transformed into self-pity. It is easy to get stuck in self-pity and wallow in it. In order to avoid wallowing in self-pity; don’t focus on the bad. Don’t focus on the things that have not happened yet. When you get caught up in self-pity, you lose your perspective. Don’t focus on those things for which you have no control. Above all, avoid the trap of comparing yourself and your life to others. Don’t focus on how much better someone else appears to be doing.

You can get caught up in the trap of self-pity very quickly and without being conscious of it. If this happens then shift your perspective. Look around you. Think about those things for which you can be grateful. Life can always be worse. Consider the things you have in your life, the things that have gone well for you that you have taken for granted. Think about those things that others would love to have, to be, or to be able to do that you have and are able to do.

Another way to shift your perspective is to do something for someone in need. Visit a sick relative, assist a helpless neighbor, volunteer at a food pantry to feed people who have no food. Take a bag lunch and a blanket to a homeless person living on the street with no shelter from the rain. Visit the hospital and read a story to a child who has no legs, no arms, or who is dyeing from a terminal disease. Think about your blessings, count them and thank God for them one by one.
Just get up and get moving. Put one foot in front of the
The other, then again, and again, and again. Keep doing this until you have built a momentum. You will find that there is no room for self-pity to dwell with you. Soon the debilitating trap will flee and your efforts will be fruitful again.  The following 10 tips will help you keep a positive attitude as you try daily to work hard with perseverance.
  • Smile and find something in your circumstance to laugh about
  • After you have prayed up, thanked God for what good there is in your life, and praised Him for his goodness, get out and mingle with people greeting them courteously. Be enthusiastic. Call a friend or relative, but not to complain about your life, instead to offer encouragement and your help.
  • Think about your goals. Dream, aim high, and engage in thoughts that help you see your success.
  • Don’t make excuses. Adjust your plan, act on it, and work it. Put forth effort.
  • Be focused and single minded as you work. Be dedicated, disciplined and committed. Appreciate what you do, love your work.
  • Strive for excellence but be humble and open-minded about it. Be open to change and don’t be afraid to take risks.
  • Don’t be judgmental of others. Learn to forgive and forget. Develop a loving attitude. Be sympathetic and compassionate to others.
  • Learn to accept adversity and disappointment. Lean to overcome them as you come out feeling stronger. Whether good or bad, let every experience be a learning experience.
  • Be your own critic. Recognize your faults and your mistakes, acknowledge them and strive for self- improvement.
  • Keep your face and focus on God, live each day performing good in which he can appreciate.
For what do you have to be thankful?  How many blessings can you count?

Keeping Good Records

If you are among the growing number of parents who have decided to join the home-school revolution or you are doing it already.  This is a simple reminder of a  few things.  If you are anything me, you need constant reminders.  In the face of busy with children, household chores, husband, teaching reading, math, critical thinking, social studies, science, church activism, community work, home based business, and of course reading God’s word; it is easy to forget what else is important. 


1. Some states have declared specific home school statues while others have not.  While your children are completing their assignments, here is one for you.  What are specific home-school laws in your state?  Know your rights, make the site where you found them one of your favorites, and print out a copy for your record.  Remember keep a hard copy of what is important.  You never know when you will need it.


2. It is important that you keep good records if in fact legal matters occur. These include:
* A statement of assurance form from the local school district verifying that your home-school program/private education, provides responsible instruction as specified by state law.
* Note: each state is different and if not mandatory in some states.
* Check your state’s education statues usually available at the state board of education.
* Some states require instead a non-public school registration form.
* Most updated forms now have a home-school option box for homeschooling parents to check.

3. If your child has attended or is attending a public or private school, go to the school and get a transfer. Do not just pull him or her out of school. Leave a clean paper trail.

4. Construct a typed letter stating that your children are taught appropriately in all required subject areas. Make sure the letter is signed and notarized.

5. A copy of each child’s birth certificate or notarized record of birth.

6. A copy of each child’s social security card.

7. A copy of each child’s updated medical records.

8. If you opt out of immunizations, state your reasons in a letter and get it notarized. Note: Some states required an updated medical in preschool, kindergarten, 5th grade, 9th, and upon entering college.

9. Keep a list of each subject your child studies and a brief overview of the subject.

10. Document your child’s educational schedule and learning outcomes. What did they learn, master, and achieve?

Keep a file with these articles for each child. Keep it safe. Lock it in a safe if you have to. Above all…
Do it responsibly or don’t do it at all!

Benefits of Home School

        Very often, parents who home-school are shunned and considered completely nuts.  In case that has happened to you,  this information comfort you and help you re-believe that yes, you are doing the right thing.  Who knows better what is best for their child besides a responsible and nurturing parent.
          I have coached parents who home-school their children.  Most  parents for which I have consulted aim to home-school responsibly.  However, their are some whose responsibility aim, falls short of their target.  This articles describes common benefits of responsible homeschooling as well as tips in which a parent who decides to home-school should aim.
          Parents report that the benefits of responsible home-school surpasses all educational experiences.  In this day and time, a great benefit to home-school is a parent’s ability to protect their  children from the negative influences they may encounter outside the home.  With the rise of violence in urban schools these days, this benefit probably surpasses all others.  Parents want their children safe.   Home-schooling parents report that the transfer of their own familial values and belief to their children is the most beneficial of their experiences.  Parents report that the ability to address their children’s questions regarding common and  everyday challenges and joys of life is a plus.
            Another benefit is the time taken to address  various other subjects and  building intimate and meaningful relationships with their children.  Most parents appreciate the ability to control what is learned and how is.  Many children find school boring, children who are responsibly home schooled are usually inept to the idea of boredom.  They are better able to entertain themselves with a good book, they usually watch movies more critically, and they usually have no problem creating activities which combat boredom.
            Homeschooling affords parents the opportunity to tailor teaching and learning to suit their child’s particular learning styles. Research shows that teaching one-on-one is the most effective means of imparting knowledge from teacher to student.   It allows parents the ability to provide their children with in-depth and personal attention which is beneficial when faced with subjects and concepts for which they struggle.  Thus, children usually excel in these areas faster than if they were taught in a classroom setting.  Alleviating the typical constraints of a traditional classroom during teaching and learning  has been beneficial to may students entering post-secondary program.  From my experience at coaching families who conduct responsible homeschool programs, these are the areas of content that are usually lacking. However, I say if you can do it, do it, but do it right, and do it consistently.

Why is it Still the Same?

I wrote this on April 22, 2008 when I was principal of Asa Philip Randolph Alternative High School.  It is 2012 and nothing has changed on the streets of Chicago.  Our children are still killing each other.  They have been desensitized and have no regard for human life.  In 2011, the number of deaths among high school students  have risen.   I find it shameful that this reflection still applies today. 

"I live in the south suburban area of Chicago.  I work on the south side of Chicago.  The two areas are 20 minutes apart and not different in any way.  It sickens me to have to admit that this video clip resembles the life of many young people with whom I know and service.  I was trying to get away from it but am now in its midst all over again.  All I want to do is write.   I hate to turn the news on at night for fear I will see a face of another young person gunned down or beat to death by his or her peers.  I leave work early everyday in order to pick up my twins to comfort my own heart.  …and who really cares?


I can’t imagine the pain of the mothers of these children.  I can’t even begin to imagine the dread of their mornings when they have to remember not to wake their child for school.  I can’t imagine what it is like to go home from work to prepare one less plate for dinner.  It is inconceivable that a mother’s child is gunned down in streets, at school, at the bus stop or in the park.  This hurting mother will not see her child walk across the stage of a college.  She won’t be able to beam with pride as she watches her child grow into a productive man or woman.  Her thoughts will be haunted by an imaginary image of her child caring for his or her children.  She has to live with the picture embedded deeply into her mind of her child lying in a casket turning into dust of the ground. 

It is inconceivable that another mother’s child could think they had the right to take another life.  What about that mother?  She has pain too!  Her child killed another.  It was her child too whose life is also wasted.  Her child is also a victim of the streets.   It is her child who rots in a jail cell contending with who knows what.  She is looked down on, frowned on, isolated, ostracized, and snarled at.  Who will show her pity?  Who will have compassion on her other children?  How is she to deal with it?  …and who really cares? 
There were over 30 young people killed  due to street violence last school year and as of today, April 10, 2008 the numbers are up to 22.  Some mornings I dread going to work because the young people I service need so much, some want so little, and many live in utter lack.  Many lack love, guidance, financial means, and spirituality.  My collegues and I around this country who work with inner city youth have limited  resources and usually limited time.  …and who really cares?

It’s been two more since I looked into the eyes of number 20 the day before he was shot down in that school parking lot.  Now he is a number, 20.  Now he is an empty chair.  Now he is a deleted record.  Now he is blended into the imagination of all who knew him.  It is more difficult knowing who he was and what his goals were.  He made me hopeful that our young people could turn their lives around; that they could infact transform their lives and improve its quality.   We smiled at each other as I analyzed his transcript and he could see clearly that his graduation could be near.  I had the opportunity to show his mother kindness.  I felt the gleam in her heart as she too saw hope for her son.  I watched him turn over a new leaf and get to school on time.  I watched his teacher’s delighted smile as she hung his completed work on her board.   I listened to his teacher encourage him.  I smiled with her as she said good things about his work.  I fear the demise of yet another one.  …and who really cares?
However, I remain optimistic that I and my colleagues will be able to touch some with patience and kindness.  I am optimistic that our time with some will be beneficial to them at some point in their lives. This video, though a click of a fictitional movie, is an accurate depiction of the life many young people actually lead every single day.  Some are afraid.  Others are unusually fearless.  I cry for our children.  Help me pray for them.   Touch one while you can … and who really cares?"

What can parents do about the rising drop out rates?


America’s drops out rates are still rising and African American youth have still have the highest drop rates.  Students reasons for dropping out of high school are they don’t have a sense of belonging, classes are not interesting, they are not motivated and simply don’t have incentive enough to try.  Parents are not involved in helping these young people and keeping them motivated enough to keep trying.  Parent involvement in keep and starts from the time our children are infants.  There are ways parents can keep children in school. 

A child does not decide to drop out of school overnight.  Usually, it’s something he or she has been thinking about for a while.  As a parent, you can take steps to prevent your child from dropping out.  But it’s important to start early.  Your child is never too young to be encouraged, listened to and loved. 

For parents who have infants and toddlers be a good role model.  Your baby learns by watching you.  It is important to hold and hug your child often, as it is good for both of you.  A healthy baby has a head start on learning.  It is important that your child learns to eat a healthy diet even in infancy.  You are helping your child develop life long habits.  Most importantly, you need to be a model for reading.  Make books available in the house.  You can purchase plastic and hard cardboard books so your child can touch and manipulate.  Lastly, read to our child everyday and let him see you reading, and he will mimic you.

If you have preschoolers, you can teach your child about the world around you go to the grocery store, part, museums, and library together.  Don’t be in a hurry.  Give your child time to learn and grow.  Turn the television off and give your child a picture book, coloring book, and drawing paper. Let your child help with simple tasks like putting toys and clothes away.  Talk to your preschooler, congratulate and applaud any small accomplishment.  You are providing them with opportunities to feel successful. 

Parent with children in kindergarten through third grade can be active in the child’s school.  Make sure your child goes every day.  Make going to school habitual.  Get to know the teachers and talk to them about your child regularly.  Continue reading to your child and ask her to read to you.  Make sure your child has plenty of playtime with other children and learns to share.  Always make time to listen, its one of the most important things you can do.  And again applaud your child for the small things he does.  You are still providing them with opportunities to know what success feels like. 

When your child is in fourth to eighth grade you need to remain actively involved.  Ask about your child’s day at school and ask about homework.  Be ready with praise for a job well done.  We build our children’s self esteem by applauding them for their accomplishments, no matter how small or large.  Make sure that homework is done and correct.  Meet your child’s friends and supervise them carefully as they interact with your child.  Visit the school often and if you think there’s a problem at school, talk to the teachers and principal immediately. 

If your child is in high school, you are not finished yet.  High school students need as much monitoring and motivation as younger children.  Make sure that school comes first with your child.  Don’t allow him to miss school.  Check his attendance and homework.  Ask about classwork.  Praise his for even the small successes.  Listen when your high schooler talks about the school day.  Help your teenager balance school, work, and social life.  Ask about her dreams and her goals.  Show your teenager the connection between school and reaching those goals.  Teenagers need space, but make sure they know that you’re always there for them. 

Remember, a child who loves learning will learn to love school.  Help your child.  Read, explain, and take every teachable moment.  Take every moment as an opportunity to teach your child that a good education is a sure way to a better life.  As a parent, it is our responsibility to make sure that our children do not become one of the million students who drop out of school every year in America.  We have a responsibility and we cannot drop the ball until our children are successful. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Raw Kale Salad Recipe


Kale belongs to the Brassica family, a group that also includes cabbage, collard greens and Brussels sprouts. Choose kale with small leaves as they will be tenderer and offer a sweeter taste. Make kale leaves a regular addition to your salads. A sautéed side dish of kale, onions, and garlic drizzled in olive oil is second to none.   Though we can find Kale in stores most of the year, they are in more abundance between mid winter and early spring.  The rich green leaves are rich calcium, lutein, iron and Vitamins A, C & K.  It has far more beta-carotene than broccoli and lutein.  It is also rich in fiber and antioxidants and helps to boost detoxification enzymes.   This information is taken from:  http://www.antioxidants-guide.com/health_benefit_of_kale.html



Vegetables & Herbs
  • 2 or 3 bunches of finely chopped dark green Kale leaves (remove stems & tough leaves)
  • ½ cups chopped fennel bulb
  • 2 carrots (shredded)
  • 1 red bell pepper (finely chopped)
  • 1 yellow bell pepper (finely chopped)
  • ½ cup chopped green olives
  • 1/.2  cup finely chopped onions and garlic to taste

Dressing:   
Soak your greens in this mixture or use a balsamic dressing
  • 4 Tbsp olive oil
  • 2 Tbsp toasted sesame oil
  • *1/4 tsp Braggs liquid Aminos
  • 1/8 tsp raw sugar or sugar substitute
  • 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
  • 1 Tbsp nutritional yeast (optional, adds a cheesy taste) 
  • 1t dulse or spirilina flakes (seaweed to add more nutrition)
  • 1 to 2 tsp chili powder to taste (optional, if you have spicy taste buds, if you decide to use chili powder you may not want to use fennel.)  

Process:
Marinate the chopped Kale in the dressing you prepared or in balsamic dressing for a few hours at room temperature, so the acids in the dressing break it down, and soften it making it fully digestible.  The kale really transforms after marinating. 

Note: 
*Bragg Liquid Amino is a Certified NON-GMO liquid protein concentrate that comes from healthy soybeans, and contains essential and non-essential amino acids.  If you use Braggs Liquid Amino in recipes, chances are you won’t need to add salt.  Keep this mind so you don’t ruin a recipe with to much salt flavor.   As an occasional alternative, try Coconut Amino. 

There are many nutritional benefits of Coconut Amino.  It is described as the “building blocks of protein,” amino acids are vitally important to human health. They contribute to the repair and rebuilding of muscle tissue, help to enhance overall brain and nervous system function.  They also assist in boosting the immune system and physical energy levels.

Power Walk

Because I have trained my mind to hate exercise, when I think of it my thoughts are always those of dread. I constantly forget that there is hope for people like me who are not fond of exercise but understand the need for it. My memory was refreshed today. I have been forgeting to do my POWER WALK.

Don't have time to exercise today? Got at least 10 minutes? Try this quick and easy daily power walk to get your metabolism moving.

First, warm up your body and wake up your metabolism. Begin with a couple of diaphragmatic breaths: Inhale deeply to the count of 1; hold the breath to the cound of 4; then exhale to the count of 2. Breath in this manner for 3-5 minutes.

Next, inhale through your nose to the count of 4 and exhale to the count of 4 through your mouth. Repeat this breathwalk for 5 minutes continuously.


For more information on the power walk go to: www.breathwalk.com or ask your exercise instructor.

Losing After 50 T'aint Easy

This year  I'll be 54. Honestly, I never thought being in my 50's would come so quickly. It always seemed like a reality that was so far away and so far out of reach; it was a thought I didn't have to dwell upon. Like most young folk, I too took life and health for granted. I regret having known what to do to ensure my health after 50 and not actually taking those steps. I have been as large as a size 26 in my adult life. Of course I wasn't satisfied with myself during those days, what woman is?

Fortunately, I was able to lose much of that weight, and it is a good think too. I have health issues that could have been avoided, maybe. I am a size 16 after having gotten down even more. On my 50th birthday, I could happily squeeze into a size 12. It was exciting, it felt good, I was proud, and I bound to get myself set in 12 without having to feel 'squeezed in'. I was ready to tell everybody how to do it.

Unfortunately, I got too comfortable and too relaxed. After having everything necessary to get it right, on my 51st birthday I am regretfully on the road back up. The good thing is that upon deciding to write this 'confession of a 51 year old brawny woman' I have made up my mind again, to get back on track.

I don't like feeling out of breath when I walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I don't like feeling heavy as I lift myself out of bed in the morning. I don't like feeling stiff in the night, having to stretch my arms and legs because my elbow and knee joints are aching. I don't like going to purchase a new outfit and having to go to the size 16-18 section again. I don't like not being able to fit into a few favorite dresses now moved to the back of my closet. I don't like my shoes being tight and my stocking rubbing so much at the thighs.

After having made this promise to myself many times, I am not making it again. My hope is that this is the last time! I want to be size 12! I want to be a comfortable 12, not a tight one. I want to be able to move swiftly up the steps leading to my bedroom, the comfortable suit I have made for myself in my home. I want to be able to ride a bike again, to skate again, to dance through 3 songs again. The information I blogged on this site helped me to get where I wanted to be before.

Tonight, January 1, 2012, I am making what I hope to be the last promise to myself to be healthy wise for my own sake. I am making myself what I hope to be the last promise I make to myself to get to that 'comfortable and loose fitting size 12 once and for all, one step at a time, AGAIN.   I purchased a cruise for $69, the boat leaves for the Western Caribbean in mid April.  I want to get on it in my size 12 body.  My birthday is in late June, I'd like to still be that 12 and go dancing!   Pray for me as I re-embark on my journey.

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