I have been told many times that I need to learn how to let it go but nobody could tell me HOW to let go. I wanted to let go. I knew that if I didn't let go I'd cry a whole lot longer than I wanted to cry. I knew letting go was the right thing to do, but I just didn't know how. I was told I wanted to hold on to the bad stuff but honestly, I needed someone to tell me what steps to take to let go. Unfortunately no one could instead they did one of three things, stared at me in disbelief, got angry and insulted me, or laughed. I guess I wasn't born with this kind of intelligence. I was sincere, this was not my kind of smart. I have learned that no questions is a stupid or bad question and I know that someone else out there has the same problem of letting go that I do. I saw folks move on as act like they weren't hurt or angry. I really couldn't do it so easitly. I was one who lived within the confines of "time heals all things." Well sometimes, it took too much time. So, without help from the people who told me to let it go, I created my own process for letting go. Guess what? It worked, as I went through this process a few times, I felt myself beginning to let go. I could literally feel the pain and heart ache or the anger and bittterness go. This is what I did because I was tired of crying and feeling badly. The first time I did, I didn't take note of the process I was creating for myself. After a few times, I began to take mental not of what I was doing, eventually I was able to go through the process and write it down. When I was done, I felt so much better. Here are the steps I took.
1. I began by lying down comfortably on my bed, sometimes I'd lie on my couch, yoga a mat, or blanket on the floor. I supportted my head on a pillow or a folded blanket so that my neck and throat were soft and relaxed.
2. I then positioned a pillow or blanket under my knees in order to support my knees and to stretch and relax my spine.
3. I closed my eyes and released my shoulders away from my neck and allowed my arms and my legs to rest slightly away from my body. The first time I did this step a little differently but I couldn't remember exactly what I did here so I created another way.
4. I kept my eyes closed but don't force them shut too tightly. Next, I began to breathe softly and naturally. I focus my mind on Jesus and his love for his people and remembered he said he came to bring me back to The Father. I took it personally, this was all about me and how I had to learn to trust him for real. In a short time the relaxing sensations from him flowing through my body began to permeate me. I felt like The Most High was releasing warm and nurturing breathes from my head to my toe. The deep and slow breathing flowed into every part of my body causing me to feel less pain, stress, and tension from the challenge I was facing in life. The breathing is similar to the breathing in meditation or yoga class.
5. I followed my breath with my mind as it flowed into my chest, my shoulders, my arms. I allowed the breath to go into my arms.
6. I repeated the words from one of my favorite gospel songs. "My Creator is greater than my pain, my problem". I repeated that and this, "He is greater than the stress and challenges I am facing right now. I forced myself not to think about anything but the things that were right and good in my life. I thought about how blessed I was. I learned to be content. as I thought about 100 things that I could thank God for at that moment. As I went through my list I began to praise God while I continued to take deep breaths. I praised Him for his goodness, his mercy, and his lovingkindness. As I praised him I began to cry. But this time the tears were different. I felt the agony I was going through being released. I felt like I was actually beginning to know what it was like to "let go and let God."
7. The breaths I took caused a softness and an openness in the palms of my hands. The breaths and the praising made me want to open my hands. I let the breathe flow down into my fingers and out. I felt like now I was in charge instead of my anger or my hurt. I felt the bitter that was building inside of me, subside. After a few of these sessions with me and my God. I could feel the bitterness leave and peace enter.
8. I followed my breathes into my hips, through my legs and into my feet. I was able to let go of the tension, the pain, and the problem down through my legss. I let it go into my feet.
9. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go, I repeated to myself. As I breathed I received each breathe as a gift of healing life and the life force from God.
10. I opened my mind to new life from God's energy flowing through my body. I visualized God's greatness and my blessings as gentle streams of God's goodness. I thought about Psalms 136 and was going to read it when I finished breathing and praising.
11. I could feel my body being healed, renewed, and restored as I imagined God sending positive energy penetrating from deep within my core into each layer of my body. He was healing me.
12. I let my mind become silent of everything except praises to God. I rested in this place of praise until I could feel a smile in your heart and on your face. Visualize your heart, your body healed and whole, supported by God. Let it go. Give it to him and don't pick it back up.
13. You may remain in deep relaxation as long as you are comfortable. When I was ready, I began to move my body, gently and lovingly, so that that I didn't disturb the healing that had taken place. I didn't want to feel anything esle. It felt good.
14. After a while, I slowly rolled over onto my side and came to a comfortable seated position I was smiling from deep down as I fell into a deep and restful sleep. Each time I took myself through this "letting go " process I felt my smile widen and my peace deepen.
15. I literally felt my burden lifted, I saw my healing. After the most perfect nap I opened my palms and lifted my hands in praise.
16. I honor Jesus as my source of healing and I thank him. I experienced a renewed source of energy and healing from God after I was done.
I began taking myself through this "letting go" process in 2008, and I am still smiling. Sometimes when I go through the process I play whatever music suits my fancy in the background, whether it be soft and slow gospel music, harps, or other instrumentals. It's almost 2012 and I still feel at peace.
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