Save Me the Trouble; Remove Yourself

It was ten years ago that I laid on my couch waiting for the breath of life to leave me. Silly me, I was not ready to stand before the Lord and justify my actions. It was the pains of living that tried to convince me I couldn't do this living thing anymore.  But, The Most High sent my friend and sister April Weaver-Ford to pray for me.   After she fearfully drove on the expressway by herself for the first time from the city to the south suburbs, she stretched herself across my body and prayed in my ear. Something I'd obviously forgot to do. Upon hearing the name of Jesus in my ear and hearing her pray and recite scriptures to me, I was able to get up from that couch, accept the Most High as my husband, and LIVE.   I'd forgotten just how good God is, how dare I!   I beg his forgiveness for allowing bitterness to seep into my heart for a time.  It is Jesus who allows my friend Vicqui Clark, all the way in South Carolina,  to call or chat with me online each and every time I need encouraging lately.  I never hear from her until I am feeling melancholy and subdued and need to be encouraged.  She feels it from my posts.   He gives her the scriptures to remind me to read.  He puts his  words in her mouth and she puts it in my ears.  I only hope I can be an encouragement for someone in this way.   Thank you Lord for giving me another day to get it together and thank you for using my friends. "A friend is like a brother", or sister in this case. 

When I walked the streets of Harvey looking for  food to feed my children from the food pantries in the area  it was Jesus who helped me to find them  and carry the food  home more than 15 blocks away in some cases.  It was Jesus who helped me keep two children in college while  trying to feed 3 others alone.  When I was struggling to care for my father on his death bed while returning to college to improve the quality of our lives, it was my sister, Lisa Meaders and her husband Minister Darren C. Meaders who took over  the care of my sick father and picked up my children after school, feed them, helped them with homework, and cared for them while I worked and went to school.   I thank Jesus for putting it in there hearts to help.

When I was faced with the challenge of unemployment for 2 years and came home in the dead of winter to no heat, no lights, no phone, and no water -on occasion all at the same time - it was Jesus who got us out of those jams.  When the sunk pump in the basement was completely out of whack and we had water up to our hips and waste backing up through every hole in the house where water should be, it was Jesus who sent a plumber, whom I did not know, to fix the problem at NO charge.  I'm saying he was an angel but  I'd never seen him before he popped up at my door.  I haven't seen him since that day.  I don't know who sent him.  Many have entertained angels unaware that they were angels.  When the hot water heater or boiler went out again, always in the winter, it was Jesus who helped us out of those jams too. 

When my car broke down and I couldn’t afford to have it fixed causing me to have no way to get my children to and from school, it was Jesus who put it my sisters, Linda Goodwin’s heart to pay for it and fill up the tank.  It was him who put it into her heart to  help provide a roof over our heads.  It was HIM who provided an income for us,  getting us on our feet.  It was HIM who healed me when we thought I was on my deathbed, for real this time.  It was so serious and inflammation was spreading through me so quickly that my daughter came home from California to begin to make plans to take care of the little ones after I was gone.  It was HIM who took away the pain and moved my limbs and let me breathe with ease.  

It was Jesus who healed my heart when it was senselessly broken over and over again.  It was him who kept me sane and put this smile on my face.  It was Jesus who allowed me to overcome the loss of my precious and magnificent mother. It was Jesus who allowed my children to grow up, be educated, compassionate, productive, and unharmed as he taught them to serve him while they figured out how to live.

So, don’t  rant  and rave about who God is and what I should call him in my ears.  I don’t care what YOU call him,  I  will call him Jesus for as long as there is breath in my lungs because it was Jesus who helped me when I called his name each and every time I needed help.  There were no brothers around who claim they love me.  There were no sisters around who claim they admire me and are my friend.  As a matter of fact, many of these brothers and sisters sat in judgement instead of reaching out their hands to make sure.  I hadn't given up on the God we say we serve.  Many judged me harshly without all the information, false information, and even downright lies.    


Every time I needed help, Jesus was there and  I love calling his name! I adore him and he has my devotion.   I am so very grateful to Jesus and I thank him for being their when no one else was and for sending the things and people I needed.  I behoove you to  leave me alone if you don't have anything good to add to my life.  I would appreciate it if you would save me the trouble and simply remove yourself.

Do you empower others? It's hard isn't it? Give yourself a boost.

Support for Those who Empower Others

Many of us work with others in social service settings where we are required to help our clients with issues regarding self-esteem and self-worth. As we know, these are key to improving the quality of life. This posr contains tips for helping those who we empower to increase their esteem, learn to appreciate their value, and improve relationships, thus; the first step to improving the quality of their lives. Since we are also humans with human problems we sometimes need a boost.  It is perfectly normal and okay.
How to Get More Out of a Relationship That You Value

Self Esteem is about self reflection, action, and reaction. Do you keep getting in relationships where it seems as if you're being taken for granted--where you give, and you give, but get little or nothing in return? Are you beginning to wonder why people keep treating you this way? If so, you are probably also feeling pretty confused, sad, and are beginning to lose what little confidence you had in yourself.

It can be very hard to maintain your self esteem and self confidence when you receive little appreciation and it seems as if the other person just doesn't care. Read on and discover a three-step self-esteem lesson plan for creating love and respect in all your relationships.

Are you in a relationship where you think you're being used, and not appreciated? Are you beginning to think that you must be doing something that gives the impression that you are not worth making an effort for--that you are perceived as the one who meets needs without requiring any reciprocal effort to meet yours as well?

If so, your self-esteem is probably at a low point and you are bound to feel less than confident. This scenario creates a vicious cycle-- low self-esteem creates how you feel-- how you feel creates how you act and in turn how others react to you. Now is the time to stop this vicious cycle by breaking the chain of your low self-esteem. How then is this great feat accomplished?

The very first thing to do if your esteem is not what it needs to be is to treat yourself as worthy. Love yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want from others. Loving and accepting yourself is the first step to creating relationships of mutual respect and consideration.

Next, learn the three beginning steps below; they will help you practice self-love and are guaranteed to increase your self-esteem. By practicing these self-love techniques you will automatically start treating yourself as the worthy being that is your true nature. And in turn, so will others.

Explore Your Thinking

Secondly, whether you're aware of it or not, the thoughts that you think generate the way you feel about yourself and how you treat others. The way you feel about yourself governs the actions you take, which in turn creates your life and your problems and your successes and your challenges.

Most of us have been raised in cultures that teach us to focus only on what's happening in our environment. When you always focus on what's going on "out there", it's very challenging to really know what's going on "in here"--to know yourself and understand what's most important to you. If this is the case, then whenever something happens "out there" that you don't enjoy, all you know to do is try to and change your external circumstances. This is hopeless because the only thing you truly have control over is your internal reactions to your external circumstances.  The only thing you have control over is you.

To practice this step, I suggest you start by exploring your "low self-esteem" thinking. You begin by using your feelings as an alarm. The next time you feel uncomfortable in any way, try to identify what you were thinking about just before you started feeling uncomfortable. Thoughts are spirit and negative spirits creep in when you harbor a negative thought too long. 

Identify What is Most Important to You

The 3rd step that helps to increase self-esteem is to discover what's most important to you? What do you value most? What is so important to you that's missing in a particular situation and making you feel the way you feel? This will help you discover who you truly are. There are values are hidden beneath your everyday actions, reactions, and feelings. For example, underneath a sense of deep sadness, you might discover caring and consideration are very important to you. Caring and consideration might be missing in your life. What is hidden beneath your anger? What is hidden behind your feelings of helplessness? What is hidden beneath your depression? What is hidden beneath your feelings of nervousness? Go deep beneath your feelings and find out what you value. Upon reflection and deep investigation of yourself, you will find wonderful qualities that you can enjoy and learn to love, making it easier for others to love you the way you want to be loved.

Enjoy Your Own Company

Finally, take steps to appreciate who you are. Although at times you may feel very lonely. You can learn to stop feelings of loneliness at its onset. The very first moment you start to feel uncomfortable, the thing to do is to turn your thoughts to what is most important to you beneath your feelings. This will help you to appreciate YOU. You can appreciate that you are someone who desires caring and consideration. You can appreciate that you are someone who values understanding and effectiveness. Aren't these the qualities that you appreciate in others?

Self-esteem is all about self-love. Using the self-love techniques, you are guaranteed to find the best friend you’ve ever had, and will be well on our way to mastering the art of self-love and acceptance, especially when you  begin to feel lonely. With practice you gain the confidence to begin asking for what you want in all our relationships and never settle for less than you want again.

Knowing clearly what you  value makes it much easier to identify when it is missing and figure out how to get it. This is the surest path we know of to get the love and respect you  want in all your relationships. Understanding yourself and taking steps to build your own esteem, you will find that you will break the cycle of mistreatment, abuse, and unhappiness in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, as well as your mate.

Love yourself, how can you tell others how to love you if you don't know how to love yourself.  Be careful though, you  don't want to become self absorbed.  It's not only about you it's about others.  You have to find that perfect balance.