Save Me the Trouble; Remove Yourself

It was ten years ago that I laid on my couch waiting for the breath of life to leave me. Silly me, I was not ready to stand before the Lord and justify my actions. It was the pains of living that tried to convince me I couldn't do this living thing anymore.  But, The Most High sent my friend and sister April Weaver-Ford to pray for me.   After she fearfully drove on the expressway by herself for the first time from the city to the south suburbs, she stretched herself across my body and prayed in my ear. Something I'd obviously forgot to do. Upon hearing the name of Jesus in my ear and hearing her pray and recite scriptures to me, I was able to get up from that couch, accept the Most High as my husband, and LIVE.   I'd forgotten just how good God is, how dare I!   I beg his forgiveness for allowing bitterness to seep into my heart for a time.  It is Jesus who allows my friend Vicqui Clark, all the way in South Carolina,  to call or chat with me online each and every time I need encouraging lately.  I never hear from her until I am feeling melancholy and subdued and need to be encouraged.  She feels it from my posts.   He gives her the scriptures to remind me to read.  He puts his  words in her mouth and she puts it in my ears.  I only hope I can be an encouragement for someone in this way.   Thank you Lord for giving me another day to get it together and thank you for using my friends. "A friend is like a brother", or sister in this case. 

When I walked the streets of Harvey looking for  food to feed my children from the food pantries in the area  it was Jesus who helped me to find them  and carry the food  home more than 15 blocks away in some cases.  It was Jesus who helped me keep two children in college while  trying to feed 3 others alone.  When I was struggling to care for my father on his death bed while returning to college to improve the quality of our lives, it was my sister, Lisa Meaders and her husband Minister Darren C. Meaders who took over  the care of my sick father and picked up my children after school, feed them, helped them with homework, and cared for them while I worked and went to school.   I thank Jesus for putting it in there hearts to help.

When I was faced with the challenge of unemployment for 2 years and came home in the dead of winter to no heat, no lights, no phone, and no water -on occasion all at the same time - it was Jesus who got us out of those jams.  When the sunk pump in the basement was completely out of whack and we had water up to our hips and waste backing up through every hole in the house where water should be, it was Jesus who sent a plumber, whom I did not know, to fix the problem at NO charge.  I'm saying he was an angel but  I'd never seen him before he popped up at my door.  I haven't seen him since that day.  I don't know who sent him.  Many have entertained angels unaware that they were angels.  When the hot water heater or boiler went out again, always in the winter, it was Jesus who helped us out of those jams too. 

When my car broke down and I couldn’t afford to have it fixed causing me to have no way to get my children to and from school, it was Jesus who put it my sisters, Linda Goodwin’s heart to pay for it and fill up the tank.  It was him who put it into her heart to  help provide a roof over our heads.  It was HIM who provided an income for us,  getting us on our feet.  It was HIM who healed me when we thought I was on my deathbed, for real this time.  It was so serious and inflammation was spreading through me so quickly that my daughter came home from California to begin to make plans to take care of the little ones after I was gone.  It was HIM who took away the pain and moved my limbs and let me breathe with ease.  

It was Jesus who healed my heart when it was senselessly broken over and over again.  It was him who kept me sane and put this smile on my face.  It was Jesus who allowed me to overcome the loss of my precious and magnificent mother. It was Jesus who allowed my children to grow up, be educated, compassionate, productive, and unharmed as he taught them to serve him while they figured out how to live.

So, don’t  rant  and rave about who God is and what I should call him in my ears.  I don’t care what YOU call him,  I  will call him Jesus for as long as there is breath in my lungs because it was Jesus who helped me when I called his name each and every time I needed help.  There were no brothers around who claim they love me.  There were no sisters around who claim they admire me and are my friend.  As a matter of fact, many of these brothers and sisters sat in judgement instead of reaching out their hands to make sure.  I hadn't given up on the God we say we serve.  Many judged me harshly without all the information, false information, and even downright lies.    


Every time I needed help, Jesus was there and  I love calling his name! I adore him and he has my devotion.   I am so very grateful to Jesus and I thank him for being their when no one else was and for sending the things and people I needed.  I behoove you to  leave me alone if you don't have anything good to add to my life.  I would appreciate it if you would save me the trouble and simply remove yourself.

Shirley Ceasar - Jesus, I Love Calling Your Name

Def Jam Poetry - Kim Fields "How Come"

"Woman To Woman" Thea Monyee ( Def Poetry)

Abuse vs Divorce

This is one controversy in Israel.  Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts.  You ever lived with a hard hearted man, I am here to tell you that it "t'an't nothin" nice.  "In the beginning it wasn't so", but neither was polygamy, meat eating and a whole lot of other things.  The Lord said he hated divorce, as a matter of fact most of us do too, but he didn't say it didn't need to happen nor did he say it won’t going to happen.  Well guess what?   "Shit happens!", It's just life.  Sometimes bad things, things that are taboo, unspeakable things, they do happen and very often we become better when it happens.  Yes, if each of us performed our duties in the manner in which the scripture dictates there would be no need for living with the pain of abuse nor would there be a need for divorce. 

Mind you, I am no advocate for divorce,  It is not supposed to be and I do see why.  But, again, ask the wife and children of a man who does not have a heart of flesh what they think about divorce.  Ask them why they are in the midst of one of his blow up or beat downs.  I guarantee you that you will get their most honest answer and their most sincere plea for compassion. But again, I am no advocate for divorce because Jesus said it was not supposed to be so, and he said "what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder".  I am not trying to give anybody a bible lesson so please look those scriptures up or ask somebody.

By the way, asunder means to pull apart, in case you didn't know.  You see I have pulled part every scripture that mentions or even hints to man, his, wife, and their relationship, and the power that comes from doing it right. I still want that!   However, I think the Lord  meant that nothing was supposed to come between a man and his wife, nothing, not even his lack of kindness, or his abuse, or his neglect, nor her folly either for that matter.  I think he meant that neither he nor she was to bring anything in the relationship that would pull that powerful bond apart.  Am I wrong? Did I mis-read that?  Let me tell you this.  Women don't usually leave good men thought men have been know to leave good women.  But, there are exceptions to every rule.    I would like to raise a few questions though.  Feel free leave your responses.

• What happens to boys who live in an abusive household?  What happens to their friendships?  How will they choose a mate?  What kind of mate will they choose?  How will they allow their mate to treat them?  How will they treat their mate?

• What happens to girls who live in an abusive household?  What happens to their friendships?  How will they choose a mate?  What kind of mate will they choose?  How will they allow their mate to treat them?  How will they treat their mate?

·        What happens when women neglect their children because they are focused on getting through the day because of emotional or physical abuse?

·        What happens to women who live with emotionally abusive men?  What are the long term effects?

·        What happens to men who live with a woman who never has anything nice to say and offers no help?  What happens to men who continue to abuse their spouses?  What are the physiological, emotional, and mental affects?   What about salvation?  Will their salvation be affected?

Now, I am ranting, this blog is NOT about promoting divorce.  I don't advocate it.  The focus will be empowerment, encouragement, and motivation.   Just as divorce affects everyone, so does abuse.  Neither is nothing nice.