This year I'll be 54. Honestly, I never thought being in my 50's would come so quickly. It always seemed like a reality that was so far away and so far out of reach; it was a thought I didn't have to dwell upon. Like most young folk, I too took life and health for granted. I regret having known what to do to ensure my health after 50 and not actually taking those steps. I have been as large as a size 26 in my adult life. Of course I wasn't satisfied with myself during those days, what woman is?
Fortunately, I was able to lose much of that weight, and it is a good think too. I have health issues that could have been avoided, maybe. I am a size 16 after having gotten down even more. On my 50th birthday, I could happily squeeze into a size 12. It was exciting, it felt good, I was proud, and I bound to get myself set in 12 without having to feel 'squeezed in'. I was ready to tell everybody how to do it.
Unfortunately, I got too comfortable and too relaxed. After having everything necessary to get it right, on my 51st birthday I am regretfully on the road back up. The good thing is that upon deciding to write this 'confession of a 51 year old brawny woman' I have made up my mind again, to get back on track.
I don't like feeling out of breath when I walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I don't like feeling heavy as I lift myself out of bed in the morning. I don't like feeling stiff in the night, having to stretch my arms and legs because my elbow and knee joints are aching. I don't like going to purchase a new outfit and having to go to the size 16-18 section again. I don't like not being able to fit into a few favorite dresses now moved to the back of my closet. I don't like my shoes being tight and my stocking rubbing so much at the thighs.
After having made this promise to myself many times, I am not making it again. My hope is that this is the last time! I want to be size 12! I want to be a comfortable 12, not a tight one. I want to be able to move swiftly up the steps leading to my bedroom, the comfortable suit I have made for myself in my home. I want to be able to ride a bike again, to skate again, to dance through 3 songs again. The information I blogged on this site helped me to get where I wanted to be before.
Tonight, January 1, 2012, I am making what I hope to be the last promise to myself to be healthy wise for my own sake. I am making myself what I hope to be the last promise I make to myself to get to that 'comfortable and loose fitting size 12 once and for all, one step at a time, AGAIN. I purchased a cruise for $69, the boat leaves for the Western Caribbean in mid April. I want to get on it in my size 12 body. My birthday is in late June, I'd like to still be that 12 and go dancing! Pray for me as I re-embark on my journey.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
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